Families is powered by Vocal.
Vocal is a platform that provides storytelling tools and engaged communities for writers, musicians, filmmakers, podcasters, and other creators to get discovered and fund their creativity.
How does Vocal work?
Creators share their stories on Vocal’s communities. In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read.
How do I join Vocal?
Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. Join for free and start creating.
To learn more about Vocal, visit our resources.Show less
It's been a week since the arrival of our daughter, and already I can see how easy it is for couples to forget about each other.
At the hospital, you have all the support you need: Nurses, techs, doctors, and even room service. They assist you in everything you could need with the arrival of your little one. Once you leave the hospital and go home, it's just you, your partner (if you have one), and the baby. This little person is completely dependent on you for EVERYTHING: Eating, changing, moving... EVERYTHING. All babies do is eat, sleep, and use the bathroom. Crazy, right? You're tired because of the late night feedings, especially if the mom is nursing and not supplementing. It's easy to forget about your partner and just acknowledge they are there.
Everyone says to sleep when the baby sleeps, and that is true. Definitely sleep when you can. You need as much energy saved as you can. I've enjoyed a few naps here and there. My husband is great. He'll stay with the baby in between feedings so I can sleep, although that becomes difficult because I hear everything now. He runs errands for us. He drives because I cannot drive at the moment. He does so much.
After figuring out a routine with my daughter, I started making sure I take a few minutes with my husband. It's easy to see how a child changes your relationship. In many ways, it's for the better. In some ways, I can see how some couples strain. So now, I make sure my husband and I take a few minutes for ourselves to just cuddle and sit with each other. We try to have conversations as well. It's hard to find topics that aren't about the baby, but we still try to spend time with one another.
We also make sure to stop and say I love you to one another everyday. It's a nice reminder. We do not need that reminder, but it's nice to just say this to one another. This is especially helpful for the mom because we are still hormonal after giving birth. This has to do with the hormone levels and the pure exhaustion. But truly, my heart is so full watching my husband with our daughter. He snuggles her all the time and plays with her when she's awake. He takes the diaper changes like a champ. But I try to look at my husband as the man I fell in love with, as well as a father. I think that mindset is important in a relationship.
Things can be especially tough after a c-section, like I had. For the first week, I'm pretty limited. I'm a week postpartum and post-surgery, and I can tell I'm still not back to my former strength. I'm even more dependent on my husband more than ever. I also make sure to thank him (and anyone willing to help) for everything. I know I don't have to thank him. He's willing to do whatever to make things easier. But I feel it helps with our relationship. Again, I don't want him to simply feel like a caretaker, because he's my husband who is willing to help out with everything to make everything as easy as possible.
It's clear that having children changes everything. We do not have the ability to be spontaneous. We can only lie in bed a little longer when the baby is not fussing. But I also make sure we spend time together as a couple when we can. We try to cuddle, have conversation, and simply say "I love you" every day.