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Young Mother

The Ups & Downs

Fallyn (My 1st baby girl)

Everyone knows that it is more common than not in this era for young girls to be pregnant. Most parents either go with the flow or they completely freak out on their child. My mother was the one to go with it while my dad was the one to freak out. I wasn't ever planning on being a young mother, but I knew what I was doing. Being 17 years old and finding this out was a complete shock to me, but I knew it was a possibility. Let's get this story going shall we?

Being in high school and not really having any friends that I was close to was probably one of the reasons I was a home body. I really never got out much and my parents were on the fence of being strict. I had social media just like everyone else and that's how I met my boyfriend at the time. This was in 2012 and I was all of 17 and he was almost 19. My mother had met him and was okay with who he perceived to be. I was in absolute love and I also was still young. We gradually developed this love that was unbreakable. I thought I found the person whom I'd be with forever. Fast forward a couple months and my mom knew that something was up. She scheduled me a doctor's appointment to get on birth control. The day comes for my appointment and we drive to the hospital. Sitting in the room with my mom was kind of uncomfortable, but I had to get this done. They had me give a urine sample first and and then wait for the doctor to come in to insert my implant. After what seemed like hours the doctor strolled in and asked me 500 questions. After asking about my whole life story she told me to lay back and put my arm on this cold metal table. She gave me a shot in the upper part of my arm to numb where she would make a small incision. Before I knew it the implant was in and I was taped up. I was good to go and she told us to have a good day. As my mother and I were getting on the elevator a nurse came running around the corner, and yelled for us to stop. Both of us looking at one another confused we get off and ask the nurse what's up? She said the doctor needed us back in the room. Back in this room again we were awaiting the doctors return. Finally, she comes in and without any hesitation and she tells me, "Well, you're pregnant!" I knew if I could see my face it was probably as red as a stop sign. I was in complete shock. My mother's face was just as red as mine I imagine. All my mom had to ask was if it was my boyfriend's. Of course it was and the first thing I did was text him. He asked was I sure and I told him that the doctors office confirmed it. The doctor had to numb me back up and cut me back open to remove the implant. My mother called my dad after we left and he was not happy at all. My parents were divorced but was I was on his insurance so she had to call him to let him know how everything went. After that day, my father never spoke to me again. Why did he not speak to me was because my child was going to be mixed. He came a completely different person that I had never knew. My dad's side of the family never spoke to me again after that either.

My boyfriend decided to move in with me that way he could go to every appointment. Months go by and everything is going smoothly. We had fights and arguments like any normal couple. There didn't seem to be any signs of something going wrong. My due date comes along and my water breaks at home the day of my due date. We rushed to get my hospital bag ready and get to the hospital. After 17 hours of labor I finally delivered my 8.12 pound baby girl on November 3, 2012. She was gorgeous and I knew that I would love her unconditionally. After getting out of the hospital being home was the nicest thing. I had a 6 week leave from school to take care of her and spend as much time with her as I'd like. Her dad was working and taking care of us. We had big dreams of having our own home and being adults that didn't depend on anyone. Unfortunately, everything that glitters ins't gold. I soon found out one day when he left his phone on the table while he was taking a shower that he was cheating on me. I was heartbroken but there was nothing I could do. Our whole relationship turned into a complete wreck after that. He ended up moving out and barely came to see his daughter. I was finishing up my senior year of high school and also playing sports. I knew that eventually he and I would never get along. He was doing things that I never would be okay with and he wanted to try and take my daughter around it. That was not going to happen. As time goes by he starts making accusations that our daughter was not his. His mother made him believe that she not mixed with African American and White, but that she was a full white baby. After she said that a couple months later she said that she was a Mexican baby. Like, come on, anyone can see that she is biracial (black and white). He fully believed what everyone was saying. I knew she was his because I tracked my periods and he was the only guy I was sleeping with. He knew she was his because if he didn't he wouldn't have gotten her name tatted on him or signed her birth certificate. I eventually gave up and left the situation alone. He got another girlfriend and she became pregnant also. He paid more attention to them and never came to see his child. I decided to put him on child support and that was probably the worst decision ever.

I graduated high school and couldn't have been more proud of myself. I did it! Being pregnant and having a baby young wasn't going to stop me. My daughter and I were doing great on our own. My mom helped me with a lot and I am forever grateful for her. I had a child support court date that came up and they told him the amount he had to pay. He never has paid me a dime and still to this day hasn't. He hasn't seen her physically since she was 1 and still claims she isn't his. I'm so glad that my husband came into our lives because without him my daughter wouldn't know what love from a dad is. She knows him as Daddy and he will forever be her dad. I'm taking college classes now and she is in Kindergarten. I'm more than proof that if you get pregnant young you can do it. You can graduate and you can get married, have your own house, vehicle, etc. Push yourself in everything that you do. Remember that you have a tiny little person who is looking up to you. I know if I could do it so can you!

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