You're Mum or Dad Until You're In Trouble

It is all too typical in many African households, well not only African households, but even other ethnic households, for parents to address us as "Mum" or "Dad" when they want a favor or when you are in their good graces. However, when you do wrong, you're called by your full names and in my particular experience in a Kenyan household, I know this all too well. My mother is one to sweet talk you into doing her favor but, once she calls me by my third name, Nduta, it is like an automatic alarm set off in my head: "Uh, oh .I did something wrong or I did not update her on something." I mean, that is not exactly my first thought, but, ''Oh, sh**.'' It might even start if your mum was saying something to you and you spoke back and said something you should not have said.

Now this is the moment, where especially or in my own experience in an African household, you just want to run off somewhere in a non-existing world. All of a sudden you feel like you are in a war zone, your heart starts palpitating, your palms start sweating, you start seeing red, and you just begin to pray for the ground below you to swallow you, for Jesus to come to your rescue. You're lucky if you do not leave that conversation with a scratch and I am serious. Everyone raised by our dear African parents know what I am talking about. My Spanish descent brothers and sisters and a percentage of my fellow white brother and sisters . Your best bet is to immediately humble yourself quick. ''Correct yourself, my friend, before your mum corrects you,'' (Nigerian accent). I am raised to talk for myself, but when you speak to your elders, choose your words carefully.

Retracting back on my points that I want to make. I think it is safe to say everyone has had their fair share of moments where they spoke back to their parents and immediately started wishing for the world to end in that particular moment. I particularly walked off on my mum when she asked me if I can tell her all the steps she took when she cooked some greens a couple of days earlier. I got annoyed and frustrated when she was asking me to explain how she did and I said something to her and walked off and banged my bedroom door. Silly is the adjective I would use to describe my walking off, I look back and just laugh and as you have guessed, I ended up being apologetic.

Talking back to my parents or cursing out on them, I was innocent on that part. However, I have a brother who is very defensive when our mum asks him why he did this and that. He is notorious for talking back but not cursing. I do not know why small talk between my brother and my mother turns into an argument. Maybe it's because he is a Cancer and my mum a Sagittarius because neither of them wants to give up on the arguments but win, prove their point is the most accurate or right. Being an Aquarian, it is easy for me to be independent and not really share much with my parents and this annoys my mum. Yeah, she has a reason to be because our mothers are the heroes who save your situations at the end of the day. Thus, when I fail to tell her what I am doing or progressing on something that starts off the monotonous talk again of "Why do I have to be the one to ask you..."

When it comes to doing something wrong and the sort of discipline, you expect I would like to say depends on your age. When I was young, I know if i was not home by my curfew which was about 5 PM, I was probably going to get a beating or the "look" and of course the beating is not a crazy, harsh beating, but a reasonable one to understand that they curfew set is for your safety. The "look" for everybody who understands what I mean is enough for you to know exactly what your mum means. Then comes the age where you are in your late teens and you feel entitled to everything and get to do anything. Well guess what? You don't. At this age, I just expect a talk and do not even try to defend yourself because that is just pure failure. Moreover, this talk will last on what feels like forever and you will be reminded of it on top of any wrong you do. However, though, some of our mothers are something else and it leads to my final point. Finally, some of my friends have told me their mums do not care if you are 30. If you do wrong and you get called by your full names or get the "look," you are lucky if you are not hit by the first thing that is close to your mum.

Isn't it something when she calls you by your full names?