Why Don’t We Talk About Those Who Have Passed?

When you saw this title you probably thought “Huh, that’s a morbid topic.” Yes, I would agree it’s not the most “sunshine and rainbows” topic, however, it’s something I believe is worth thinking about. So no, I’m not one to be thinking of death often but losing my grandma in February is what sparked my thoughts on this topic.

My grandma lived an incredible 88 years, had a husband, children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren. The moral of the story is that she had a long, fulfilling life. When her life came to an end, we had a lovely funeral service for her which included one day of viewing/wake and one day of the funeral mass/burial.

Now let us do the math: she lived a total of 88 years, 3 months, and 1 day which breaks down to 32,235 days. The funeral service was 2 days.

Think about that...a life of 32,235 days and the celebration was over and done within only two days.

Yes, I think about her and pray for her constantly. I occasionally still cry over the fact that she’s gone and I’m in no way saying she is forgotten. However, I find it baffling that you live an entire life and the celebration is over in a matter of two days. People may say we have to move on with our lives and shouldn’t mourn forever and I agree. We shouldn’t forever mourn those who have passed but we should continue to live out their legacies. We should be going to their favorite restaurants, playing their favorite songs, and most importantly telling our youngsters about those they never got to meet.

My niece and nephew are currently three and four years old. They most likely won’t remember their Nonna which is why we need to be the ones to tell them about her. When they’re older and they hear a Frank Sinatra song we need to say, “Oh your Nonna used to go crazy for him!” Or when they graduate medical school say, “Your Nonna always knew you’d become a doctor.” We need to tell them the funny stories or the loving moments we remember most. We need to share the old black and white pictures along with the silly selfies. I hope everyone that knew her is sharing her story just as I am today. When someone asks about my grandma, I’m not afraid to say I miss her terribly but I also make sure I tell them how she was my best friend and how amazing she was.

A lot of people tend to avoid talking about people that have passed. I get it, it’s sad and hard to talk about. On the other hand, I think it serves a much greater honor to live out their legacy and continue spreading the joy of their life. Think about it, would you want your legacy packed up and put away because people are sad, or would you want them remembering all the good times spend together?

Whether your loved one lived a long, or short life, they should be remembered. Don’t be afraid to start small. When you see a bright ray of sun, stop and say, “Hi grandma” just to acknowledge the thought of her in your mind. Soon enough you will be laughing while grocery shopping remembering the way she used to try to set you up on dates with the cashiers. It takes time and practice, however, I believe this is what needs to be done in order to honor the lives of those that have gone before us. Remember, those that have passed are never truly “gone” they are forever in our hearts.