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What LOVE Is to Me

A New Life

By Lacie TrimmerPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Here I am, not knowing what emotion to feel, and amazed at how calm I am. Trickling down my leg and covering my pants is the moment I thought would never come! As I stand in my kitchen looking at the Reeses pie I just plated, I realize that my whole world is about to change, this is it! I text my mom and tell her my water broke, and she is on her way. Patiently waiting, I begin to gather a few things that I need; phone wallet, keys, and my night gown I bought specifically for this. Then I think to myself, "A towel, I should grab one so I don't ruin my mom's car seat." At this point I have changed my pants three times. (My water broke 3pm.)

We arrive at the hospital and I am starting to have contractions, but they are bearable, so I decide I want to do some laps in the hall, while waiting for my fiancé to arrive. As my mom is walking with me in circles, we talked and talked, and little did I know how meaningful that would be to me. (This is love.)

Now I am in quite a bit of pain, contractions becoming stronger, and I am giving the admissions nurse all my information and becoming really anxious and HOT! Who knew the greatest work out I would ever do would be in a chair!? (Sweat the pounds away.)

Finally, my fiancé has arrived and we are taken to a delivery room. I am asked to change into my gown. I was so excited to get out of my wet clothes, but was dealing with so much pain. Going into this I really wanted to go natural, but I was naïve! (Oh, HONEY!)

I'm pacing back and forth and holding my hips, so that they don't fall off! I begin to understand why everyone told me I was going to ask for the epidural, but I was not ready to give in! What felt like eons, but was only minutes went by, and my mom is saying to me, "You don't have to be strong honey. You can ask for the epidural." Being overwhelmed and fed up with the pain I look at my mom and tell her to ask then! (Here we go! 6pm.)

I don't remember exactly what was said between my mother and I before the epidural, but I do know that I was very mean and she was my strength. My mom stayed by my side and with every cruel word I had to say, she met it with such love and understanding, and there were so many moments where I made eye contact with her and so much was said with no words at all. (Mom is love.)

The epidural! Wow! Such a relief! Epidural every time, please!! Never will I ever go through that again, natural labor is definitely not an easy route! Feeling super relaxed and finally relieved from the pain, the nurses tell me to start pushing! I obliged and began pushing, and with every push I become more tired. The doctor comes in and says it is time. 3 or 4 pushes later, a beautiful baby girl with a full head of hair is placed on my chest. I am flooded with so much emotion and as I looked at her and listened to her cry. I thanked God for showing me what love is! (Pushing 9pm–12:19.)

The next 48 hours was something I did not plan for. I now know what love is because of my daughter. For 48 hours I watched her as she was breathing, and sleeping, and held her when she was crying. While my baby girl slept I cried with joy, for I was so amazed and overwhelmed by the amount of love I had for this little being that I just met, what love is, is an emotion that is explainable and I am so blessed to have the opportunity to understand fully what it is to love and to be loved. (A mother's LOVE.)

Two months later and I still feel that love. My daughter now looks into my eyes and smiles, and I know that I will forever be loved and know love. I now have new life.

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