What It Is Like Having a Gay Activist Uncle

My uncle is my inspiration for being a part of the LGBTQ community because he conducts himself with dignity, and if he knows you feel a certain way about a subject, he discusses it with you instead of tensing up and getting defensive. He is what I aspire to be daily when I try to have conversation with someone. He currently is in and out of Ireland conducting research and trying to promote the LGBTQ community as best as he can.

I see a lot of people bash LGBTQ people, and to be honest, it makes me extremely sad. As someone who is a part of the community, I could only hope that the tensions that still arise would be appeased. Still today we have kids being disowned by family for being gay or lesbian because it is not "right" in their parents' or family members' eyes. My uncle was one of those people, and yet he still went home when his father fell ill to help take care of him. He even wrote a series of poems about the experience. Instead of telling his family to take a hike, he dropped everything and went home to be with his father in his final days. That kind of forgiving attitude is what I aim to have as I grow older. It is something I want many other people to have.

I am sure it took years of self-taught patience to get the way he is today because I am in my 20s and I still struggle to forgive someone for the smallest slight, so how could I forgive someone who totally did not accept me for who I am? My uncle even heads the women’s and gender studies at the university at our capital. He aims to take the people that are ‘lesser’ and make them equal and someone that is no longer getting the crap end of a bargain. I am sure this is hard since we live in the South, and of course, my family has the mentality about stereotypes that many people are trying to get rid of today.

This struggle is why I identify with my uncle better than I do most of my family. I still treat them with as much respect as I can muster because they are my family still. But many people know my uncle and they ask the question, "What is it like?" Well, what it is like is something I do not think I could explain. It is wonderful and different than most of my family relationships. I can just ask to go out to eat and we can talk about anything that comes to mind without fear of what someone else might think or bring to the table. I can ask for a book about African American culture or a controversial topic, and I know I am going to get it without being asked why I want it. It is like having a family member that is a best friend. You do not have to explain what is going on in your family and you can discuss other topics as well.

I understand not many others have this ability and that I am lucky. That is why I write about it and share it with others, because if they do not have it or push family away, they may never have the benefits that come with being close to a family member that just gets it. My uncle is my inspiration and my go-to therapist, and I would not have it any other way. I am grateful to have him as a family member.