What Do Stay At Home Moms Do All Day?

I'm a wife, stay at home mom, photographer, and a sometimes writer. But being a mom and wife are my first priorities. And every once in awhile I'll encounter the question, "What is it, that you do all day?" Now, this question can be really infuriating, but it always makes me wonder where it comes from.

People ask questions for 1 of 2 reasons. Either they're curious, or because they want something to compare their life experiences to. So really, I can only speak for myself, but I would think that any other mom who stays home with tiny tyrants is in the same boat as I am.

I have a 3 year old son and a 1.5 year old daughter. So, on a typical day, my older kid wakes up at 7 AM, sometimes earlier and sometimes later. But this month, my daughter has taken to getting up at 5ish... So, they wake up simultaneously, or back to back, which makes for great excitement for me as a mom, since no day is ever the same. Yeah...

My son is in a toddler bed. And that’s fun, because he will wake up early and start playing with his toys and turning the lights on. And he also does this in the middle of the night, because time is not a concept that toddlers care about, or even understand. Fun, right?

I try to put him back to bed, and sometimes if I’m lucky, he will play in his room until a more reasonable hour and I can get some rest. But this isn’t usually the case. He has realized that if he stays in his room or doesn't turn the lights on, he won't wake me up. But who knows, his noise might wake up the baby, and then it’s fun for everyone! This is also the reason why there are chain locks on the tops of our doors, we have baby gates, the cupboards are locked, and all the furniture is strapped down. Because kids are sneaky, and they get into things in a flash!

By the time 7:30-8:00 rolls around, I have changed at least 2 diapers, and sometimes 3. I am gulping down espresso while the kids eat breakfast, which currently is peanut butter toast with sliced strawberries on the side. My son also has to get a supplement because his iron is low... So that's a fun wrestling match, trying to get the syringe into his mouth, never mind wrestling him to brush his teeth afterward. Luckily, my daughter loves brushing her teeth, so I get a pass on that one.

Now, when I say these words to you about all of the things that I’m doing in the morning, it’s because you don’t really think about the fact that you are doing all of these things at once. So—I add water to the bottle warmer to heat the baby’s bottle. While that is heating, I pop the bread in the toaster for my son's toast, and get the strawberries rinsed and cut up, because once my son’s breakfast is ready, then the baby can drink her bottle.

After all of this happens, I then feed our two large dogs, who have already gone outside by this time. Then, there is a little bit of a lull for an hour or so while the kids play. If I’m lucky I can have a hot cup of coffee, or get something into me for breakfast.

Luckily, the baby follows the toddler around the house all morning, and they play, somewhat nicely. And since the house is already pretty safe and child-proofed from having Axton, I get a little peace of mind while I try and get things done around the house.

About 8:45 the baby goes down for her morning nap if she decides that she wants to sleep. During this time, I go around the house gathering any dirty laundry, and generally picking things up and putting them back where they belong, which honestly is really futile because of said tiny tyrants. Ever see the meme about how cleaning with toddlers is like brushing your teeth with Oreos? There is so much truth in that statement.

But into the laundry room I go to organize and start the laundry for the day, because laundry has to be done every day, or every other day, or else it gets so out of control that I have to spend an entire day washing, drying, folding, and putting away. And who the hell wants that!?! The baby’s nap will last for 45 minutes max, and then when she gets up, she will have to have her breakfast, which right now is oatmeal or scrambled eggs.

While she eats her breakfast, my son eats his morning snack, and this is when I clean my kitchen. Really, this will be the first time I will clean up the kitchen for the day. I wash any leftover pots and pans from dinner the night before, empty and run the dishwasher if needed, and wipe down the table and counters. And this is when I typically take out something for dinner, because if I don’t do it then, then it won’t be defrosted in time to get in the oven, and I really hate using the microwave to defrost meat. Hopefully, at this point I have had my second cup of coffee. Or any coffee. At all.

Then there is another space of time while the kids play, and I can vacuum, sweep, wash the bathroom, or any of the number of things that have to be done to run a house. Then around 11, the baby has her second bottle, and then my son gets his lunch. After all of that, both kids go down for a nap around noon. Now, this is truly the only time I get to myself during the day. It is an hour—max—because the baby won't sleep as long as the toddler. So I try to shower, or eat, or work on my photography business. It makes me tired to write this... ha ha ha.

The afternoon is pretty much a repeat of the morning, with the day ending with me cooking dinner. We eat together every night at 6, and then we do the bedtime routine. Their day ends with them going to bed at 7. Then, I usually have about two hours before I officially burn out and go to bed—to start all over again.

As a stay at home mom, there are things that have to be done on a daily, weekly, or even a monthly basis. It’s never ending. Literally. And while I’m trying to get all of my everyday tasks done, I have tiny tyrants running around, demanding juice in different colored sippy cups, or a baby crawling around generally wreaking havoc on every square inch of the house.

Not to mention, I am lord of all the meals—for everyone in my house. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and also making sure that my husband has leftovers for work the next day. This also means that I do all the food shopping and meal planning and cooking—All. The. Time. But I do get to leave my house once a week for a whole hour or two, by myself, without the kids. And society has told me that this is “me” time, which is such bullshit! Doing everyday things to take care of myself as a person is not “me” time. And certainly running errands, grocery shopping, or doing one of the other million things that moms do to keep their lives running isn't either.

Because running the house and taking care of my children is my JOB! I did choose it, but that doesn't mean that it isn't hard. That doesn't mean that I don't need a break. At a job outside your house, you get breaks, and a lunch break. You get to leave at the end of the day. But when your primary job is the house and kids, it is all day, every day of the week. There's really no breaks and there's definitely no leaving... LOL. And even when you do get some time off, it isn't very long.

With all of that being said, I love my children and husband more than I ever thought was possible. The kids won't be little long, and I am enjoying it as much as I can. The only thing that would be nice is to make some money for all of my hard work!