What Autism Has Taught Me

Parenting is hard. There's no getting around that. There's the cooking, cleaning, appointments, acting as a referee if you have multiple children, attitudes, and so much more. My favorite part of the day is when the whole house is asleep. I have time to admire my kids, think back to what happened that day, what moments were perfect, and what could have been done a little differently.

Maybe I'm one of the few that do this. Maybe all moms do this. I couldn't tell you. What I can tell you is what my son has taught me already in his eight short years of life.

1. Pants are optional. If we're not going anywhere or planning on going outside at all, why do we need to wear pants? Just pick your favorite undies and maybe a favorite tee and call it good.

2. Shirts are also optional. As long as we're wearing our favorite undies and watching movies or playing games all day, clothes are optional.

3. Say hello to everyone you meet. My son is a social butterfly and loves talking to anyone that will listen. We will stop and say hello to nearly everyone while out shopping. Most of the time we get a simple hello, other times we get a, "How are you," and a short conversation. Other times we are ignored entirely.

4. There is nothing wrong with comfort foods. Even if those foods aren't exactly healthy. Sugary cereal, Pop-tarts, and maybe some ice cream for breakfast? That's his go to. But for dinner, he's always asking for Shepard's Pie, BBQ meatloaf, or our family 'dog food'.

5. Routine is not an option. Disruptions in the routine that were not planned can result in meltdowns and arguments. But cleaning always causes some complaining.

6. Minecraft can be educational. I never thought that a video game would teach my kids more than a typical school day. My son had to teach me things that even I didn't know about Minecraft, and I've been playing since the alpha testing for it came out.

7. Swearing isn't necessarily a bad thing. When it comes to him talking like a baby or swearing when at home, I'd rather him swear to attempt to express himself than talk in a way that I cannot understand at all.

8. Love can be expressed in many ways. This is the most important thing he has taught me. Even when he's angry, or he's throwing things and screaming, the tears streaming down his face during his meltdowns, he shows me that he doesn't like doing it. It isn't just his hugs and kisses that show me that he loves me. The tears that spring up in the heat of the moment also show me.

9. Tight hugs are the best hugs. Not only do they provide the deep pressure we both find relaxing. But it helps him show that he needs me, that he doesn't know how to express what he needs with words.

10. Languages aren't always spoken. I use American Sign Language daily. My son doesn't quite grasp this language yet, but just by his body language and facial expressions, or lack of, tells me so much more than words ever will.

11. Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and Beethoven are the perfect role models for my son. I absolutely love this about him. While he isn't interested in sports, though he has the most energy possible, he looks up to these people. Science, music, and anything mechanical are his favorite things.

I know that there is so much more that I'm missing. There's plenty that I am still learning about my kids and myself. What works for me most likely won't work for my son. What milestones my son hits at certain ages, my daughter is reaching at either a younger or older age.

Sure, there are days where I feel like I'm failing my kids. But I know that I'm doing the best that I can, and even though I'm making mistakes along the way, my teachers are pretty patient with me. I love my kids, and I love that my son has autism. It's his superpower.