Truths? Some of My Feels into Your Daily Reads

This is great...I’ve really wanted to share how I feel sort of anonymously? But like kind of also like an autobiography type deal? I’m not a writer by any means, I just.. truth? Let’s say truth. I’m going to keep it honest, no BS, no exaggerations, nothing. Flat out honesty. Something I don’t do often, I tend to hide how I feel 90 percent of the time. Maybe I’ll just start off with the end and travel back to the beginning? Today, May 7th, 2018, my third niece's birthday. I’m not even there to wish her a happy birthday...To watch her cheer in excitement about the gifts everyone got her or her just being excited to have everyone over. My heart feels so broken that I can’t be there and it’s kind of eating me up inside. I feel so lost...It's only 1:00 PM and I’ve done nothing today but wash some dishes and make a small snack.

7:49 PM.

I’ve now greeted my boyfriend, smoked a bowl, and reheated dinner I made on Saturday. I still have yet to talk to my niece and I’m hoping she’s having a great day with her silly self! A little info on my niece; she’s really fun, has a HUGE personality, she talks soooo much, and she’s pretty cute, they all are. I can’t wait to see them and hug them again. I miss them with everything in me. I really miss my sister and brothers most.

5.8.17

Back to how I said I was going to start from present to past...Maybe like the weekend before I left.

4.13.18

So I ended up staying with my brother, his wife, and my four nieces, which was nice. On the Friday I came in, my oldest niece had a baseball game, she played horribly actually. It was pretty cute though, she ended up getting hit by the ball. Then that’s all she talked about all day and even most the weekend, she’s dramatic LOL. The next day, Saturday, it rained. My second oldest niece had practice but she wasn’t able to go because of the rain...She was pretty bummed and it made me sad to see her sad but we made up for it by playing in the car and house. Nothing much happened Saturday that was “fun” or worth talking about. Sunday came and my sister and her boyfriend came and got me from their house and we ended up going out to dinner which was fun, everyone was happy. Then we went home and I packed up some clothes and laid in bed for a while and just reflected on my weekend.✨

Now thinking back to how that happened, I was so unprepared to leave home. I think part of me was scared? Also, I’ve had like nine dentist appointments since February 13 oof...That’s a lot!! I got all my wisdom teeth removed, my teeth filled, and cavities taken care of, my mouth feels liiiikesooo much better. And wisdom tooth pain bruh ain’t NO joke LOL. I had to wait five months to get mine pulled and I only had maybe three weeks spread out over the time of five months where it wasn’t like KILLING me, but they always seemed to hurt. Ugh, just so glad that’s over.

Sorry, I’m like rambling but honestly, I just wanted this to be like a public diary. I dropped a photo of my nieces down below to help you picture the stories a little more. The first one is my third youngest, birthday yesterday, and the baby that was at the baseball game on Friday. Until next week hopefully, I’ll have a better way of writing then LOL. We’ll see, I won’t keep my own hopes too high!