Traveling with a Newborn

I have recently become a new mom, and knowing one who has never had a child before I am sure many of you new moms can understand and relate to, is how tough it can be to adjust and learn what it's like to have a baby. Especially when you are doing it alone like me. Well, aside from the sleepless nights, endless sets of poopy diapers, and constant feedings. The bonding tends to pay off and make it all worth while. Within all of this it's easy among the constant caring for your child to forget about caring for yourself. I mean, come on, who has time to shower and clean the house or even remember to eat when you feel as if you're constantly running around for your child's benefit? I know I didn't and sometimes I still don't. You're supposed to sleep when they sleep right? So how ever could one suffice enough energy to work out, eat, shower, or watch tv just for themselves? One simply could not. I know I couldn't.

Raising a child alone is hard work, even though you love them, there may be or may have been times where you literally just felt like crying due to lack of sleep, "baby blues," or increased hormones. Whatever it may be, it happens to the best of us. There were many nights I felt I was failing as a mother because she would be crying for hours and I would have no idea what was wrong aside from the basics, wet diaper, hungry, tired etc. As my child has grown and has gotten on somewhat of a schedule for a two month old, I have slowly started to find some time for myself. I know that sounds nearly impossible since your child is now your whole world, but trust me in time, as they get older it becomes a little bit easier. I mean who needs sleep when you have coffee, I mean coffee is your keepsake right? Aside from being overly tired, you learn to adjust to only getting 5 or less hours of sleep, and you learn to make time to eat, shower, or clean the house if that is what you choose to do! You also learn to do A LOT one handed, doing things one handed tends to come easier to me, and I am sure many new moms can relate.

Aside from adjusting to becoming a new mommy, I never could have imagined how traveling would be with a newborn until I did it. My parents had been talking about this trip for a while, they had planned on it long before she arrived. It wasn't anything too extravagant, just a short trip three hours away to visit a family member over the weekend. Seems pretty simple right? Or so you think. Not thinking about how it would be once she arrived, I gladly accepted the invitation to accompany them on this trip. Getting to see family is always a good thing, especially when you don't get to see them very often. And who doesn't like to show off their new baby?

Low and behold a few months go by and we are getting ready for this trip. Not having a clue about how things will go, or what I may need, I scrambled up nearly everything I had for her in my home, just in case. I mean what if she were to get a cold in that one day we are gone? And how ever would I know how many diapers she will need? Maybe she'll have a blowout, or she'll eat more than usual so why not just pack all the bottles, and bring five different outfits that works right? Well, after what seemed like forever of brainstorming, getting all of her things packed up, and double checking to make sure that I had more than enough of what I needed for her,—just in case—(three suitcases later to be exact) I finally had that task completed. I was ready to go, or so I thought. Coming back to what I said earlier about how you forget about yourself? Yeah well sure enough I completely forgot to pack a bag for myself! Rushing to get my stuff ready, we made it out the door just in time.

Thankfully my mom offered to drive us, which made it a bit easier for me because think about it, trying to drive with a newborn for three hours by myself would have been a huge struggle. I can't even imagine. I would have been stopping every half hour for something new. The drive itself went by smoothly, stopping only a few times to feed her, and change her diaper, all the while I was able to bond with her in her car seat during the drive (which was a nice change compared to being the driver), it made the start to this trip seem as if it was going to be a simple and fun one. Well, it seemed like that at first, except the craziness didn’t start until we got there. Prior to leaving for this trip I was never informed about what the weather would be like, that morning it seemed cool and decent enough to where my child would be okay in light clothes so I never expected the temp to skyrocket as we arrived. To my surprise the temp jumped up to a mere 90 degrees with humidity making it feel as if it were well over 100. There was no way my daughter would be able to be outside in that for two plus hours with that humidity and in direct sunlight. Especially with her being so young. Overheating would have been a huge issue. So unfortunately, we had to stay at the house alone, and miss out on spending time with them.

This itself didn’t bother me, honestly my child's safety meant more to me than going to the zoo (animal prison), and risking the benefit of having her overheat. So I remained positive and tried to look forward to getting to go to the indoor pool at my parent's hotel because at least there it would be inside and cooler, well you would think it would be. So, sucking it up we stayed in, she ate then of course slept the whole time (only while being held of course). Which only made the time seem to pass slowly. I mean sure it would have been nice to actually get out and do something with family but again I was content and okay with having to stay in for her benefit. But yes, since having her I hadn't been able to get out much, or attend family events due to it being too hot, or too big of a crowd, or it being too late and she is asleep. Sure, I could easily take her along places when she is asleep, but she just recently got on a better sleeping schedule, and risking taking her out and potentially getting woken up by noise, light, etc. is not worth it. As a new mom, seeing a shift in a sleep pattern so early on is a god send! Especially when you have barely been able to sleep decently since having your child. So yet again we were unable to attend.

The afternoon rolled around and they arrived back at their hotel, meaning it was time for us to truck ourselves over there to spend time with them, (even though we wouldn't be going in the pool since she is still too young) the concept of just being able to socialize and spend time with them was all worthwhile. Arriving at this hotel, the pool wasn't exactly indoors, it was in a place next to the hotel which yes was inside a building but unfortunately, it was hotter in there than it was outside. So yet again we had to leave and go back to the house where is was cooler. Besides, constantly taking her outside in that heat wasn't the best idea so we decided to just stay put and wait for them to come back to the house to grill out.

The evening rolled around and thankfully they all arrived back at the house, excited and happy they were finally in an atmosphere we could be inside and social. I was able to chat and hang out for a bit, but again knowing how unpredictable babies can be, a lot of the time I was running back and forth between changes, feedings, and trying to soothe her, so I, in turn, wasn't exactly present to them. The majority of the time I was holed up in the bedroom. I had to remain in the bedroom to get away from all the noise that seemed to wake her so suddenly, which then would take an extra few hours to get her back down again. Finally, I was able to get her to sleep, and realizing how late it was I noticed how exhausted I was myself and simply went to sleep. Sure I could have went and spent time with them but honestly, when you're hungry due to inability to eat, overwhelmed by the constant emotion of feeling helpless and as if you have been this huge burden on your family, and simply overtired due to already getting a lack of sleep, it is the easiest thing to just crawl into bed and sleep, especially when you don't know exactly when she could awake.

Those moments you get to actually sleep when your child is asleep are so precious, especially when you spend hours trying to soothe and comfort them. I never in my life could have imagined how happy getting to sleep is until I had a child. It is like a mini vacation! So taking that opportunity to actually sleep is the best choice one could make otherwise, one can become extremely irritable and every mom knows irritability, exhaustion, and a crying baby don't go well together. So I slept. I was emotionally, mentally, and physically drained. Sure, my family could have helped me out throughout the time they were around, but they were there to see each other and I wasn't going to be one to rain on their parade with my child. It wasn't their responsibility, it was mine, one I gladly enjoy doing. Besides we weren't there for me, we were there for them.

Well after getting what seemed like no sleep, that morning I was finally able to briefly talk to my family before we headed out, but, having to double check and make sure I had everything and prepping a bottle for the road, I couldn’t really talk too much. Which at that point I just wanted to be home. I was already feeling as if I was poor company due to not exactly being present. And feeling as if I were a burden the whole time, I merely just wanted to leave. We said our goodbyes and hit the road.

The ride back was refreshing, though exhausting, it was nice to just be going home. Three hours later we finally arrived back home and I felt relieved. Aside from having to unpack everything, wash the bottles, place the diapers back in their original place, start the laundry, feed the baby, I was more than ready to just be. Happy to be back, simply thinking to myself that traveling somewhere with a newborn in hot weather honestly is just too hard. Your time is consumed by your beautiful child, and in turn doesn't allow for time with others. Which honestly I don't mind when I am home and in town. But on the road away from the "known" when your child is that young it then becomes a challenge and places all this pressure and stress on yourself due to feeling rushed, and the need to please others. But when I am home I at least have less stress more peace, more organization, and more reassurance knowing that I am not being this potential burden to others, and knowing the only people I need to please are myself and my child.

No, they never expected for me to do as they intended, but the feeling of needing to when visiting someone is present. Being away from home is just a lot harder than being at home with your newborn. For if I want to go somewhere in town, I easily could, if I wanted to visit with someone I easily can, and I can do it without the stress of having to please someone else, and without the hassle of having to take a million different things with. Traveling with a newborn, it to me is just something I can't and probably won't do again when she is so young. Maybe in a year when she is a bit older, and isn't solely relying on feedings, and can start to speak for herself etc. But at this young of an age, when she is still growing and still has so many limitations on what she can and can't do, it is something that again is just not worth it and is too much of a hassle to attempt.

Since becoming a new mom, and being a single mom, it has taken a lot of adjusting and trial and error to learn what is best for my child and myself. And since becoming a new mom, you learn that it is hard work. Prior I never could have understood how much a true parent goes through and how much one has to adjust to throughout their child's life. I never imagined prior to having a child how much time they consume, and how much you go through while having a child. Sure babysitting a kid, and working with children gives you some idea, but it is nothing compared to the real thing.

But again, It is a beautiful blessing to be able to have a kiddo, and I am honored and grateful I was given that opportunity. Yet I cannot say that it is all flowers and rainbows because it is not. It is a beautiful thing, yes, but you have to take the ups with the downs, and learn to adapt to new things regularly. That is the joy of parenting right?

The first few months of being a mom are probably the hardest, the adjusting, the emotions, the trying to be the best at all times, the juggling of a job and finding a sitter/daycare (well if you need it that is) while also trying to be in your child's life regularly, can be a challenge. And don't get me started on the physical changes those are another story, a beautiful thing yes but still a struggle to get past. So I must say, I give props to those out there who are mothers, who have had to go through many different situations throughout their child's life and may still be going through.

Kudos to the parents who have multiple kids, juggle a job, and a life with their kids, potentially have a significant other or help, and can travel often with their kids being present. Because after this trip I most likely will not. In my personal opinion, it was just too hard, you may have a completely different experience than I did and that is fine. If you managed traveling with a newborn than honestly, I am excited and happy for you because I could not, I managed but it wasn't something that I could say is one I would do again. Not only was it just too much work, it was also emotionally stressful. Just the concept of being put into a situation where you are expected to be somewhere and can't to me is overwhelming.

I am blessed and happy that I am a mother don't get me wrong, she was a blessing and a miracle that was sent to me in a time when I was sinking. And I am grateful for that every single day. No I never planned for her, and her father was not one I was dating, (but did have an attraction to and could have seen myself dating if he would have given me and her a chance) nor was this how I expected my life to go at this point in time, but I am still thankful for each moment given with her. For a child is a true miracle, they are ones who will mold, and shape the future to come. Therefore I would not have it any other way, I just know now since doing it, that taking a newborn even on a three hour trip is just something that is too difficult for me to do. Your time is consumed by them, the packing and unpacking can be overwhelming, the emotional pressure you receive from others is just too much, and the feeling like a burden is not something I ever intend to do or feel again. Again this is simply one person's experience compared to many, but it is one that holds my truth.

So there you have it, traveling with a newborn from my experience was not easy, or something I would do again at this young of an age, nor was it honestly worth it to me considering I sat in a house the whole time, when I honestly could have done that back home.

I truly hope many of you do at least take the time to have your own experience with your newborn because hey your experience could be much better than mine was it could go completely different than mine did. But, you won't know until you give it a try. Just be prepared for anything to happen, because things may not go exactly as you plan!