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The Outings

Life with Ashtyn Hartley

By Jess DavisPublished 6 years ago 6 min read
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Everyone remembers leaving the hospital with their sweet new baby and getting in the car and starting to drive away and then thinking, “OH CRAP I have to protect this little baby. All of these cars are driving SO fast. Why does my husband think it’s okay to drive like he’s a race car driver?! Why is that car so close to us?! Why am I so sweaty?” Or was that just me? I’m already a handful in the car, yelling “Be careful!”because the car three lanes over and six cars ahead of us was breaking because of some trash in the road. Now imagine throwing a baby into the mix. A tiny, sweet, innocent baby who is too small to defend herself against the world. I freaked out on our first drive with our girl. Once we got home, I decided I was never leaving bed again. No exceptions. Well, two days later, we went to dinner with some family and there I was again, freaking out and holding on to Ashtyn as if that would do anything, while she just snored the whole car ride, and my poor husband was getting honked at because I was making him go 25mph on the freeway and still felt like we were going 100mph.

Everything is scary when you first bring a baby into the world. I am here to fully admit that I am scared of everything. But now I’m scared of the world. As a whole. Like what if we just fall out of space? How do I protect Ashtyn now?! Again, I’m never leaving my bed ever again, at least until my mother in law comes over and takes me to Target, obviously. Walking through Target, buying everything you said you wouldn’t need pre-baby and realizing you really do need more than 5 burp cloths, and way more diapers. Our cart full with a huge car seat, and you can’t forget my obnoxious diaper back pack I just had to bring because what if I needed to change the baby while we were there? Or what if she randomly got sick and I needed my huge first aid kit that she was too young for anyway? And you definitely can’t forget about the 3 blankets I had to bring just in case. I promise that’s the only outing I packed my bag like that. You get more used to going out with your baby, don’t get me wrong, it’s always a huge deal going anywhere, you still need some stuff to survive, especially as they get older, but you don’t need a huge first aid kit, or 6 onesies, or more than one blanket.... ever. Trust me.

There are so many ways an outing with your kid can go. You have the days where they just sleep in the car seat the whole time you’re gone and you’re wondering what you did right in the world to deserve this bliss. Then, there’s the outings where they’re awake, and happy to be in the car seat, but you have to distract them the whole time, too. Then you go to checkout or leave the store and realize you didn’t get anything you needed so you decide you’ll just try again the next day. Then there’s the real fun. The unhappy baby. The screaming until you pick them up out of that torturous car seat that clearly did something personal to them because there’s no way they’re this mad for no reason. You pick them up, they’re hungry, you go find somewhere to feed them, make awkward eye contact with the people who clearly don’t have kids, and the nice eye contact to the others who understand. You continue to shop, you’re sweating holding this tiny baby who is somehow weighing more and more as you walk, and then there you are, again, checking out and realizing you forgot all the important things you needed.

Your poor husband is starved because you just can’t remember to buy food for dinner. There’s also the really good outings, well, decent outings, the really good outings are the ones I mentioned above where they sleep the whole time. The decent outings are when you decide to just carry the baby from the beginning, everyone stops you to tell you how cute your baby is, and you know everyone loves all babies but you take it super personal because your baby really IS cuter than every other baby in the world and everyone tells you she’s cute. You’re running around Target with this model baby feeling famous because everyone is just impressed by you. By everyone, I mean like the five old ladies sitting at Starbucks who miss their grandkids who live out of state so they obsess over yours. You check out and realize you finally bought your husband the ground beef he’s been asking for and all you can think of is one word: Success. I did it. My baby was happy, I talked to other adults, I got everything I needed, and in this short six hour target trip I learned my baby is in fact, the cutest baby around. There’s some days where it’s really good, but some bad happens, like a decent day, but this super cute and sweet baby decides to poop all down your front and all over your feet. Ashtyn went through a few weeks where she would have a blow out down my front every time we were at Target. (We shop at Target A LOT.) It was really fun for me. Especially when I was by myself covered in baby poop trying to change and clean myself up with a baby who is screaming because she had to get back in her car seat.

I’m so prepared (mentally) for every type of outings now, I just take the different days and push through, until I’m in bed and realize I survived either way. Ashtyn has been to so many different places in her six months of life, Tennessee a few times, Disneyland, Knotts Berry Farm, she met Santa TWICE, we’ve been to Target probably 100 times in the last month, vacations, the beach, and so many more places, and we survived. To all the new mamas who struggle like I did to go anywhere because it was too intimidating, go. Trust me. You’ll regret it. It gets easier but only with practice, like anything else. You get into the swing of things. Not like it gets way easier, I won’t lie to you. If you’re in jail you have to get into the swing of things too, but you get used to it. If you’re lucky you have a happy baby who loves going places, if you’re like me, you have a baby who is happiest at home with all of her toys and family around. By family, I mean her dad, she’s happiest when daddy’s in the room. No matter what, it’s an adventure. Will I get pooped on this Target trip? How long can Ashtyn scream today, or will she even scream at all? People say I need to take more risks and do more things but in my opinion, having a baby is pretty damn risky, I mean, I can get pooped on at any given time but here I am, out in public, wearing white, risking it all!

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