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The Day I Realized It’s Okay to Let People Go

And it felt amazing.

By Anik MarchandPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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Family, what a daunting word. What a weighted word…

Some people out there have the best families. Everyone seems to get along all the time (key word in that sentence: SEEMS), have amazing family vacations and no arguments ever seem to arise. Ever wonder if that’s what really happens behind closed doors? I do. All the time. Being that happy with your family isn’t normal (haha).

Seeing this kind of joy and love between a family made me question my family and how we interact with one another. We have some great times where we laugh until we cry and we spend special moments that allow us to bond. However, we don’t see eye to eye very often. I feel like my family is divided into a city, we have the high ranking [or so they think] corrupted politicians which are usually full of shit and need to be kicked off their high horse, we have what I consider the ultimate life Guru (my mom). This is an individual that has answers for every problem and fixes everything as quickly an efficiently as possible and moves on to the next chaotic situation. Draining job, to say the least, but no one could replace the Guru. We then have the garbage pickers, usually regarded as a bad job, however, without them, the world would be polluted and therefore are very much needed. We then have the abusive husbands, no one wants them around and finally, we have, the gold diggers, too lazy to work hard and everything is given to them freely.

I would consider myself the garbage picker. Quiet and always picking up people’s shit. All my life I’ve been quiet. Thinking things I would never dare to utter to my family. My truest feelings, how I think some of them are just absolutely ridiculous or how they are ruining good things they had going on…I shut up and walk away — always. Perhaps because I think they aren’t deserving of me sharing my feelings with them… but, I keep picking up the mess they leave behind. Once I’ve picked up too many things along the way, I need the Guru to help me take care of myself. I need advice on letting some of the shit go.

It’s sad when looking at other cities, they always seem brighter, more fun, and more cohesive than my city. Their government seems to have a better understanding of how they should run a city, their garbage pickers are valued, their abusive husbands are banned and can’t return…Their Guru will never be as good as mine, that’s for sure. Other cities seem to have their shit together while mine seems to be falling apart and, I can’t do anything to fix it. I’m powerless, I’m just another government employee and ultimately have to follow what they say and that’s fucking sad.

People say we can’t choose our family and that’s true. Other’s say we should appreciate what we have and that’s also true. But what does a one do when the abusive husband and the gold diggers along with the corrupted government are too much to handle? Appreciate their toxicity or…?

You let that shit go. You cut them out. Snip! Snip! GONE!

It’s okay to let people go. It hurts like a motherfucker don’t get me wrong but what’s worst, leaving your hand in a raging flame or quickly ripping off the band-aid? I take the latter.

I realized that my “city” wasn’t working for me. I realized that I needed to fire some people. And you know what, I didn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would. It’s okay to cut out some toxic people out of your life, it’s okay to want to better yourself instead of trying to impress everyone (especially your family). If you haven’t impressed them with your true self, faking it or working extremely hard to show them how great you are isn’t going to work either — trust me, I’ve tried. Some people are too entangled in their own drama and fake life, impressing people who ultimately don’t care about them to realize how special you actually are.

We’ve all heard this speech before, “cut toxic people out” or “don’t let negative people influence you,” on a Facebook post or on a Pinterest board but we keep scrolling down and always fail to realize that the message sent is one we should ACTUALLY listen to. It’s okay to tell people to leave your life if they can’t accept who you are. It’s okay to stop talking to someone who constantly brings you down even when they are “family.”

After this amazing epiphany, after realizing it was okay to be vain and think of myself and how I actually deserve to feel and be treated, I began cutting people out. I wanted to feel happy, I wanted that weight that had been sitting on my shoulders for years to leave me so I could stand up straight and be proud of myself, for once. Impressing someone doesn’t feel half as good as when you impress yourself, let me tell you! And you know what, I work hard, I’m independent, I’m a good human being, I’m kind and very generous, my mother raised me well and anything below these standards was no longer acceptable in my life. I no longer wanted to spend my energy showing or, trying to convince others, that this is who I am.

I let them go.

And that’s the day I realized that it’s okay to let people go.

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About the Creator

Anik Marchand

Anik Marchand moved from New Brunswick to Southern Ontario at a young age, lived some crazy moments in Montréal, and is now based in Madrid, Spain.

E-mail: [email protected]

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