The Birth That Made Nightmares Scared

The following is my real experience giving birth to my daughter; this all is real, and not something I ever thought would happen. It is long, but it is worth the read.

I found out I was pregnant right before St. Patrick’s day 2017. I was ECSTATIC, my husband was out of his mind with joy, as he had just lost his father. My pregnancy was like any other, morning sickness, a few bouts of food poisoning because I ate things I wasn’t supposed to. My second trimester was a breeze. My third hit me, though, like a metric ton of bricks. Between the Braxton Hicks contractions, my blood pressure randomly dropping, my blood sugar levels being too low sometimes, I was a mess and could not wait to have my daughter here.

Week 36 and 37 were me rushing to the ER for false labor and low blood pressure/signs of preeclampsia. Both times I was sent home and ended up being fine. Week 39, no dilation; time to be induced. I was scheduled to go to the hospital at 3 AM on Wednesday, November 8. I received a call at 2 AM that they were full and they would call when rooms would clear out.

Wednesday at 9:55 PM, I get the call to come in for my induction. My husband throws all our go bags in the car, we grab the car seat and we are ready to go. We arrive at 10:20 and get checked in and into my L&D room at 11 PM. They give me the medicine to start the induction and get me hooked up to an IV. Two hours, get up and walk time; thankfully, my best friend was in labor two doors down, so I got to walk to her room and talk while I attempted to bounce my baby out. This went on for 15 hours. By 11 AM the next day, my friend had her baby and was being transferred to her PP room.

I, however, was still not having any luck. 2 centimeters dilated, the waiting continued. They decided to try a different form of induction; they used this weird wafer-like thing and shoved it up inside me. It was so inconvenient to try to pee and not accidentally pull it out. I had that in until about 7 PM and was only 3 centimeters dilated; the doctor finally decided to start pitocin—basically a labor inducing medicine on steroids. By 10 PM, my mother in law was bringing my husband and I food, the contractions were getting more intense, and I was about to be taken off all solid foods. By 10:15 PM the nurses heard me screaming in the hallway from the pain; the OB decided it was time for my epidural and to break my water. By 10:45, food finally arrives and I am told to eat as much as I can because the anesthesiologist would be in at 11 PM to do my epidural and from then on I could not have anything besides water.

The epidural: now, I am absolutely TERRIFIED of needles. I am covered in tattoos and piercings; it is NOT the same. AT ALL. The epidural was horrendous, but soon after I felt nothing and the OB came and broke my water. All I felt was warmth and was slightly grossed out.

At 11 AM the following day, seven centimeters dilated, my husband is at school; I called him to tell him to come back because everything was going fast now. My mom and mother in law were there with me, hanging out and waiting. We waited until late in the afternoon; finally, at 10 centimeters, she’s not dropping. So we continued to wait; because of the epidural, the nurses kept coming in and turning me, so the medicine would not just settle into one spot.

My right side—every time I was flipped to the right, we lost my daughter's heartbeat.

At 9 PM on Friday, November 10, the OB on call tells me we have to do a C-section and explains everything to me. They have three people in front of me; she will be delivered at 3 AM on November 11. Awesome. I am terrified; I haven’t yet told you, this was my first hospital experience.

10 PM: My husband gets up to use the restroom, my parents go to the cafeteria, his parents leave to get food.

Nurse: I need to turn you to the right.

Me: No, every time we lose her heartbeat. Please do not.

Nurse: I’m sorry, but we have to. It will be okay, if she drops off the monitor, we will adjust.

Horror.

Nothing, no heart beat, no locating it, she’s gone.

Nurse: I NEED THE DOCTOR, SOMEONE GET IN HERE AND HELP ME!

I am bawling, my husband is screaming at the nurse for not listening to me.

Three nurses and five nursing students run in, they get me onto my back, and nothing.

My left side, nothing.

Hands and knees, nothing.

Nurse: someone go get the OB out of surgery, NOW!

They used a metal rod, shoved it inside me and into my daughter's skull; finally she is back on the monitor.

Doctor: Prepare for emergency surgery as soon as the current patient is transported.

10:12 PM: Spinal blockers are injected into my epidural so I feel nothing from the waist down.

10:17: I'm on the table for surgery. My husband isn’t there yet; they put the sheet up so I cannot see, they begin to cut into my pelvic area. I feel it all. The spinal block didn’t work, I began screaming at the top of my lungs for them to stop, my husband is there holding my hand now. The anesthesiologist tried to calm me, but I wouldn’t stop screaming at them to stop cutting me, and that’s when they realized I wasn’t imagining it, but that the spinal block didn’t work. At 10:20 PM, anesthesiologist is pumping different drugs into my IV to put me under, my husband is holding the gas mask over my face.

10:22 PM, my daughter is out, and screaming.

10:23 PM, I am finally out.

10:55 PM, I wake up; they are still stitching me closed. I still feel it all.

12:35 AM, Saturday, November 11, I finally get to hold my baby. She’s perfect.

Four months later, my scar still hurts. I still have nightmares, but I am stronger than I have ever been. I am a mother.