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Tech-Free with a Baby

The New Mom

By Katie LMPublished 7 years ago 19 min read
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Sounds rambunctious, doesn't it? Well, believe me, it is possible. Technology does not need to control you, or your child's life, and I am one of the many few parents who believe this. When I was younger, the most advanced technology we had were CD players, VCRs, the huge box TVs, and the funky looking video cameras. We never had iPads, smart phones, flat screen TVs, laptops, Apps, Facebook etc. So why would I present this to my child, only teaching her of this form of entertainment compared to going outside and actually living? I never relied on those, so why should she feel she has to? Well, as you can see, I am not exactly one who ever was entirely reliant on these devices in my life in the past, nor will I coming forth into my daughter's life now and it isn't something I am willing to start.

Sure, technology is useful, and with being a writer, author, blogger, online student, and full-time mommy, it is still something I do use. Especially with being one who is trying to be an inspiration, positive role model, and influence to many, while, also spreading awareness of what is happening, and what could be done to help. So, as you can see, it isn't something I have completely gotten rid of in my life, nor will I entirely. But it is something I will not in any way revolve my daughter's life around.

Since having my daughter, I have removed the use of technology from my life in her presence, and attuned myself more to her needs, and well-being. I focus more on time I have with her, and less on spending hours behind a TV or smartphone. And, as she grows, I will continue to use my creativity to find meaningful things for her to do that do not solely involve technology. Even when she was born, I limited the amount of posts I made online of her. Simply due to the fact that I didn't want to revolve my daughter's life around my social media sites (which I typically only use to spread positivity, inspiration and awareness.)

I will admit that, yes, as she has gotten older, I have posted a bit more of her, but strictly for the use of simply spreading positive awareness, and to share with family that may not live close by. But, even so, I still would prefer using my actual camera to take pictures (which I do), and physically printing off photos and making an actual photo album (which I have started), due to not wanting to rely solely on technology for sharing precious moments with my daughter. And, in doing so, it will allow me to inform my daughter of these other means of life, and living without the use of technology. No, I am in no way knocking anyone whom overuses technology in their homes with their kiddos, or with themselves. I am simply stating from my perspective how I believe and feel that technology has become overused and abused, in homes and out, and many have begun to rely and revolve their whole lives around them, which is something I in fact do not agree to, and will not bring forth in my daughter's life in that manner. I do understand that everyone has their own stories and, everyone has their own reasons or uses for these technological advances. I am just not one who believes in being totally reliant on them. Nor is it something my daughter will completely rely on either.

Many in society as a whole tend to rely on technology for a number of different reasons. Whether it being for a job, medical purposes, a camera, to stay in touch with family and friends, to see what is currently trending, entertainment purposes, or even to stay informed and up to date about what is current with the news. Whatever it may be, it is something that is continually used in everyday life, which has its perks, yet also its downfalls, especially when it becomes the only thing that seems to matter to you and in life, and is taking away from being present with others. So, ever since society has been introduced to smart phones, tablets, and these technological advances, I have, in fact, noticed that many have started to rely on technology so much to the extent that it has become overused and abused to where they tend to forget to live presently. They forget to live life in the moment. They tend to miss little moments with their friends, or family due to being so reliant on their phone, tablet etc. For example, if you're in a bigger city or any city for that manner, and you are walking down the street, everywhere you look you will see people on their phones, talking, texting, tweeting, walking like zombies and paying absolutely no attention to their surroundings because their sole focus is attuned and attached to whatever mobile device they may have. If you go to a concert, or into a coffee shop, 95 percent of the people will have their phones out taking pictures, sending a text and are glued to this device entirely. You see it, you are aware of it, yet many overlook and ignore it.

But, why wouldn't you? I mean society has you attuned, and programmed to thinking that life seizes to exist without it, heck our "president" (one who sadly should have never been or should not still be in that position) even bases his whole life around it (not that he by any means is one others should rely on, or look up to). So yes, many have just grown accustom to relying on it entirely for updates, and being in the "known." Yet, in reality, it is taking them away from the known, because they are then becoming more interested in the lives and well-being of others then their own. So, to me, being the fairly observant and old-fashioned person I am (one who believes in actually writing a letter compared to sending a text), finds something like this heartbreaking and a major issue, one that I will not be encouraging in my daughter's life. For I still believe that in order to be totally present, and actually notice what is around you, you have to first detach yourself from the overuse of technology and start to be mindful without it. You don't exactly see this portrayal anymore. You actually see it encouraged. Society as a whole has become so reliant on technology, that many again forget to actually live, to actually be in the known of their physical body.

Which is why, since being a new mommy, I will in fact not be encouraging it. Many new moms notice, as their child gets older, that they tend to become easily "bored." They may throw a fit or have a temper tantrum due to having nothing to do or, due to even seeing that their "friends" or you are constantly on some form of device. (Monkey see, monkey do.) So as a clutch, a lot of parents tend to hand over an iPad or smart phone to keep their child quiet, entertained, and "happy." Simply due to the unknown of how they can in fact help, due to the unknown of what they can present to their child to keep them entertained (like finding activities to do, outside time, etc), not exactly realizing that this in itself can cause an issue for the child as they get older and continue to grow. I myself have seen many parents hand over a tablet or smart phone in say a restaurant when their child becomes fussy to attune their focus to that, not exactly jumping in as a parent to soothe, or comfort them in other ways, which again to me, is sad and a big reason as to why I have shied away from the overuse of technology with children especially my own. But, to each his own.

No, I am not saying the use of technology in such a manner is terrible and should never be used. I simply mean that if it is used all the time, to where one is reliant on it, and it is taking away from the actual bonding you should be having instead, then it in fact is something that is encouraging less socialization, and bad mannerism, and is then becoming an issue. Something I don't entirely agree to, nor is it something I will be using in my life with my child. I also am not saying technology is the worst invention ever, I am simply stating that it has in fact become something that has taken one away from being present and mindful. Yes, I do believe that there are A LOT of educational stuff that you can in fact present to your child with the use of a smart phone, tablet, or T.V. one that can benefit them. But I also believe that there are other means of entertainment, other ways to educate your child without the use of technology all the time. For when you put something in their life once, even if it was meant to be a one-time thing, it will then become something they always expect, and a bad habit to kick.

So, what I have started to do with being a new mom, is keeping any form of technology away from my child. Meaning I don't use my phone, or computer in her presence. And as she grows she will be very limited to it. Which I know in a society as such, will be hard, and as she grows it won't be something I can keep her from entirely, nor would I want to because I do in fact believe some usage of technology is useful for development. My daughter is still young, 10 weeks to be exact, but, I still believe this time is a fairly vital age, one where I don't entirely want to accustom her to technology so young. Now, and as she grows, is a time to be interacting, playing, talking to, and educating. Not a time to sit on my phone, and disregard her adorable coos, smiles, interests in books I read her, or toys in general. Having a child changes your perspective on a lot, and I get that but prior to having my own child, even when I would babysit, you would never see me on my phone. I would be engaging with the child, playing games with them, introducing new things to them, putting together puzzles, interacting with them constantly and making sure to show them fun without the use of a T.V or tablet. The only time I ever really would pull my phone out in their presence was if I needed to reach out to the parents for some reason, or to see if the parents had texted to check in and see how things were going, etc. I still to this day believe in this way of interaction with a child, I do not believe in the concept of placing them in front of a T.V for however many hours, or giving them a tablet all day because I believe it takes away from precious time with your little one. Being entirely present allows for a better bond and a better connection with the child, and it also teaches the child to be more creative when it comes to play time, socialization etc.

I will admit that some technology is a good use of bringing the family together, such as family movie night every once in a while. It allows for such a bond, and encourages the concept of togetherness with family. Don't get me wrong, I am not in any way saying all form of technology should never be used because I do believe it helps out a lot when it comes to different things, I am merely pointing out how many rely too much on technology and allow their lives to be controlled and overrun entirely by it. I am focusing more on the concept of abusing the use of technology and letting it again control your life or your child's and allowing it to take away from bonding with your kiddos or being present.

My daughter, with being so young, may not entirely know what a phone or a computer is but she does pay attention. Babies notice a lot more than you ever could imagine. I have always known this, but never truly put any thought into it. I will give an example: I will admit I have fallen victim to the spending too much time on a phone compared to paying attention to my child, very rarely and more in the beginning but this would probably be officially when I started to make a change. At first, when I brought her home, it was tough, I had no time for anything, not even a shower to say the least. The first few weeks were extremely rough, and being a single first-time mommy, it only made it that much harder. My time was—and still is—consumed by her. So of course, when she got older she became more relaxed, interacted more, and fell into a better routine, it made wanting to check Facebook and be on my phone that much more interesting. (Shows how addicting this stuff can be).

Well, there would be times when she was feeding that I figured heck, why not pull out my phone and check Facebook quickly, (which I know many parents do). At first it didn't seem like too big of an issue, that was until I would become so focused on my phone that I would miss cues she was giving. Such as, falling asleep during her feeding and needing me to pull the bottle out before she would choke, or the cue that would have informed me she was uncomfortable and needed to be burped before she spit-up. I missed these cues, and by allowing an app to take my attention away from my child, I noticed I would run into silly issues that could have been avoided if I would have stepped away from my phone and put more energy, and focus into my beautiful child. What may seem harmless honestly could eventually run into issues that become major, like choking. So, seeing how it made me miss cues, and allowed for a missed opportunity for bonding, I simply stopped doing it. The only time I pull out my phone or computer is if she may be asleep or in another room, asleep. But honestly being with her means more to me than a Facebook update. I fell victim of allowing it to consume me, and I then noticed I wasn't really there with my child. So, I ultimately made that decision to cut it out before it became an everyday habit, before she became old enough to see what I was doing and pick up on it.

So, since realizing this, and feeling I was ultimately going against my original idea of how I didn't want mine, and my child's life revolved around technology. I began to become more present. I put the phone away, I started to talk to her during her feedings, and simply just be. Taking in what was right in front of me. Allowing myself to feel the release of not having the urge to check a status update, or what is "currently trending," and value the beautiful life I created right here with me. And simply by doing that, it allowed for less issues to arise. Being present allowed for me to see that adorable smile as she drifted off, it allowed me to see her look at me with such awe and amazement when I would talk to her as she would eat. It allowed for a better connection, and bond. I noticed a shift in the energy, I noticed I was more present and it in fact made me feel happier, and allowed for a happier baby, as well. And since realizing this, and applying it to my life, it makes it a lot easier to keep my child away from a smartphone, tablet, or T.V as she grows, because I am being a positive role model and doing the same.

Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and all the apps you can think of, have all become the norm anymore in society, in life. It is simply expected for you to have these apps, to spend all your time on these instead of actually living and being present with those around you. Which allows for it to consume you, and take time away from your little ones, your family, and your friends. You miss more, you see less. When checking Facebook becomes a daily habit, you aren't exactly living in the moment, being mindful, or being present. You have gained an addiction and lost sight of who you are. When you are more concerned about what Jenny had for dinner than your child, or a friend or family member. You aren't really being in the known. I mean is scrolling through your news-feed really worth it when you have an adorable baby there waiting to be introduced to the world? Or when you have a friend over? Or at family dinner? I don't think so. It can wait.

Establishing your priorities are key in life. And when you start to place an app before a family member, or a friend you, in fact, take away the opportunity to be present. You are, in turn, denying yourself the opportunity to grow, to see what is around you, to see the beauties the world holds. You deny yourself the opportunity to become more than you already are, and you are placing the expected expectation on your children that, in order to be happy, current, and entertained, they, in fact, have to rely on these specific items. You are teaching them to keep their minds closed, and to limit themselves to what an app has to offer compared to the world. Compared to you. You are teaching them that a smartphone, tablet, TV, or computer is more important than anything around them. Which closes doors, and restricts them to gaining the proper social interactions, of feeling physical comfort and love, and of expanding their minds to the world that surrounds them. It puts a weight on them, one that will take time to remove once accustomed to this way of life.

There are more important things in the world, in your life that surround you which deserve the undivided attention you may be placing into your apps, or smartphones. When you are starting to allow these things to over run your life, to drive who you are, and what you can become. When you are allowing these items to replace physical interaction, play, and socialization it then becomes an issue. It then takes away from actually being present, with your family, friends, or children. It limits you to being and seeing more. Which is why I ultimately have decided to detach myself from technology. To place my focus on more important things such as my daughter, and those I love that surround me. It allows me to teach my daughter that there is so much more in the world waiting to be discovered. That there is so much creativity that can become a way of life, that you can unleash simply by just being. Doing this will allow more mindfulness, peace, and happiness. It will also in turn allow you to be more grateful, and deserving of what you currently do have in life, because not everyone has what you do, and many would kill for more time with a friend, or family member compared to an app.

Being a good mom, or parent in general, ties in with allowing your child to have the benefit of you. Allowing your child to be given the love, and time they truly deserve from you. Everyone needs a break, I get that but, the time you do have with your children or family is meant to be WITH them. In physical, mental, and spiritual being. Not wasting away those precious moments due to wanting to check the trending news, due to allowing an app to consume you entirely. All the while knowing your child is watching you and looking up to you in every moment. Learning and observing how you go about your day. Each day is a blessing which should be cherished. One that should be focused on being in the now compared to the ultimatum. That is why in my opinion, keeping technology to a minimum now and as my child grows will allow for more time spent with her, and will allow for a more mindful, loving, present daughter who understands the world, and believes there is more to life than a tablet, or smartphone. One who understands and has the willingness to open her mind to be creative, and loving of what is surrounding her.

Everyone is a product of their own and yes, many parents may rely on these forms of technology with themselves and their child and that is their choice. For this is mine. But, once you allow yourself to detach from all of these distractions, you start to notice a shift within yourself and your surroundings. You start to become more present, focused, and tuned in to what truly matters most. Once you detach, and make time for those who matter, you won't feel as overwhelmed with these devices. They won't control you, or overrun your life and you will start to notice everything. You will then become more mindful and at peace with yourself and your surroundings while also being present. You will worry less about what someone tweeted and more about your family, friends, child, and surroundings.

With doing this, with removing this from my life to an extent, especially around my child, it has not only made me more aware, but also allowed for me to be more present. Which will also allow me to be a positive role model to my child, one who can lead by example, defy the odds of what society has become so overrun by, and introduce other means of entertainment, interactions, and education. It will teach her the lesson of how to broaden her horizons, how to use her creativity, and how to become more than what society has to offer. It will show her that other things in life are more important than the materialistic ones. That regardless of what an app can provide to you, being physically, mentally, and spiritually present with family, or friends is more valuable and meaningful that what an app, tablet, or TV can temporarily provide for you. She will see that there is so much more to discover, so much more to enjoy. That there is more to life than an app, tablet, or smartphone. And that technology as a whole does not need to control you, or be the sole source of your existence. For life is meant to be lived freely, blissfully, and creatively, and having that drive you, distract you, and remove you from the now, is the exact opposite of that, for it is not truly living, it is imprisoning.

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About the Creator

Katie LM

I am an aspiring writer who has a love for inspiration, motivation, and simply spreading awareness to others. Positive enthusiast, New single mommy, environment and animal lover, and one who strives to be the difference in the world.

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