Take It or Break It?

I wondered if I had anything to do with the divorce. I suspected she fancied me even though I was 21 and she was 43. The notions, if they were present, she never acted upon, at least not with me, maybe alone with her pleasure wand while the family slept. Either way there was something there that couldn't keep her kept. I didn't think I was the cause of the split, just maybe her attraction to me exposed their flaws, and made her quit.

Her husband wasn't a grand catch, looked to be a sour man when she made him go fetch. The ill that could be said of him isn't completely void on her, she should have, or at least could have; known herself better, known that a man that un-grown wasn't the wisest one to take to try and make a home. I wondered what they were both like when they met? I've only known her as a bit of a transient hippie, wide eyed around the taboo, and him a pseudo businessman who was a bit of a boob. Was it both their own lack of self awareness that attracted the enticing of their bond? Moron to moron, saying let's get it on?Too simple. One of them had to be faking it from the start, perhaps he had an awfully lonely heart, and her? Well her heart lost yet full of love, so she coddled that lonely dove. She made a man never grow out of being a boy, and he made her learn her heart was not a toy.

Took 20 years for those facts to set in, and a few more to do the chore of letting go of him. The kids all caught in the middle, I can only imagine what he says to them, and the damage control she has to navigate from him. Only on paper are they separated, in reality their influence on one another hasn't dissipated. She has a new house and a new pet, but those are just two more things on the list of that which she won't forget. I'm sure at least the sleep is nice, not laying next to what affects her everyday has got to be slightly better than what used to be the way.

Had she not the children, she'd be off and into something new, at least that's what I would do. I forget lessons can be learned, but that doesn't mean the strength has been earned. Legally she decided to be free, but unfortunately I have to say she's still weak. She puts up with the rough stuff he whispers in those kids ears, and although it grinds her gears, she'll put up with it for years. Strong in the mind, but not in the heart, maybe from the whole situation she should just part.

Her kids might be upset initially, but eventually would come to see their daddy but a sad little boy, and then praise their mom for what she decided to become. Then again one of them may be like their daddy and spend their life as a saddy. What can you do if your kid turns out dumb and doesn't understand the strength you had to have to become what you've become? I can only imagine that'd be terrible on a mother, it's hard to fix someone when they fancy being dumber, they don't not simply get smart over one single summer. So maybe a clean break and don't make contact or look back for both of one another's sake. Christ the strength that would take, most would peril in such terrible heartbreak.

What is she to do that's legal and easy? I might not know exactly what she'll do, but I know that'll never be me.