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I hate being reminded of things. Recently I’ve lost primary custody of my youngest son, due to the issue I have going on, like me being hospitalized, losing my job, and awaiting a response from social security.
I’m really hurt about his father being greedy for money and taking me back to court. Especially being that he’s made it seem as though our child was in danger, when he went to school every day, doctors appointments were scheduled an attended, he had new/clean clothes on every day. Yes, that was without me having an income or a car.
I can admit us living house to house wasn’t ideal. But he was in no way shape or form in any type of harm. I love al of my children with everything in me. And most times I would go without to make sure they had. He knew that.
Although it didn’t matter to him because his only concern was to get assistance from the state of Connecticut. What kind of man actually makes it his business to try and defraud the state when he actually works? And makes really good money doing so. Yes, this has been reported several times to several different departments. The response was they couldn’t do anything because he had his own business and couldn’t really track his income (interesting, right?).
I know one that is still angry, because no matter what circumstances you’re in you refuse to allow him back in your life and would still rather co-parent. One that knows you’ve been over him for years, even before he was in a relationship with someone. And then breaks up with the individual and believes you’re stupid enough to play back and forth with them. Attempting to further piss the individual off who could also give a fuck less about them.
With all of this going on I chose to sit back and ponder my thoughts, rather than open up and speak about them. Being that its easier for me to deal with them that way. Yes, it bothers me that I only see him every other weekend. And that when I do have him, we have to walk on pins and needles (don’t want to get into that part), just to not ruffle any feathers.
It’s just so much easier for me to handle it that way. When it’s brought up, I’m brought to tears. I’ve cried more than enough tears and would rather avoid them. I hope everyone could understand that!
I’m not trying to be harsh or trying to stop you from feeling a certain way about how I should feel. But me crying and lashing out isn’t going to get me far at all. It all stalls the process I have to take a bit more. Stops me from taking the time to send emails to get help, applying for programs that’ll help us, or even writing to attempt to try and make some type of living.
Trying to find a job with no experience and really messed up heath issue just isn’t working for me. The reminders of things I could be doing would be doing, and right now just can’t do is hurting my situation more. It’s not you it really is me. I forgive you for bringing it up. I just hope you can do the same for me. Even if you don’t understand or care. Just please take a moment and try to keep that in mind.
I just rather not be reminded.
Please take a moment to share this if you’ve read it. And maybe even donate if you like. I’m trying to get better at this. Thanks, have a good day!