So today is Sunday, the day of rest. It’s the day Mexico beat Germany, Switzerland drew with Brazil (still can’t believe that) and that fathers up and down the country are shown appreciation. Now, don’t get me wrong we don’t need Hallmark holidays to express our gratitude for someone, but its nice to buy into the idea.
Father’s Day for me is somewhat bitter sweet. Growing up I was very much a daddy’s boy. Life starts to get serious at 11 years old but I had no choice in growing up when my dad passed. He was and always will be my hero. 11 years is not enough time with your hero, but everything he taught me I now try to bestow into my little ones. Father’s Day accumulates all of the above and conjures harboured memories and emotions.
Today also marks the midway point of my pitcher's holiday. As much as it has flown it has dragged. Yet our connection still grows and evolves. We still communicate, we’re still intimate and I very much miss her. Even from thousands of miles away my partnering superhero never fails to amaze me. Her words and actions are noble deeds of heroism. Today has been the pinnacle so far
I have been spoiled and reminded I am a good person, father and son. This all started with a simple phone call. One with kind words and mystery, I became intrigued; suddenly my sidekick was no longer the sidekick. I was hers. My instructions were clear, concise and heart felt. As the initial shock faded I was overwhelmed. This gesture was a week in the making based on a conversation taking place even before that. My heart broke, melted and then swelled. Little did I know this was going to be a reoccurring theme today.
Returning to her batcave my heart was a flutter and my butterflies out of control. Sitting on her throne (as she’s very much a princess) I reached for the bag that she directed me too. Marvel bag, winner, beers, winner. Being the man child that I am I reached straight for the presents. Chocolate, winner. Ideas and light bulb note pad, winner (she knows me so well) Then the finale, my card.
I knew instantly this would get me. Her way with words at best of times captivates me let alone in a father’s day card. I was not disappointed. I was choked. Speechless. So overwhelmed. Her words blew me away. So kind and heart felt. Time stood still. The earth stopped whilst I read that card. I don’t even think i took a breath. My superhero once again in the nicest possible way broke, melted and burst my heart. She had reminded me that I am on the right path, that I am a good father to my children despite everything that’s going on at the moment. The amount of calm that descended on me in that very moment put a lot of things in perspective.
This kind act will forever stay with me forever. The amount of thought and time she has put into this for little old me is something I’m not used to. Will I ever get used to it? I doubt it. But she’s starting to make me see my own self-worth. Its not OK to be treat like shit. I do deserve to be happy and shouldn’t settle for anything less.
The happiness my superhero gave me this morning stayed with me throughout the day. The songs I heard had meaning, the sky was blue and I felt for the first time in a long time I was me again. Before all the pain and drama, I had been put back together.
Seeing my boy after all this realisation was emotional. I want to protect and shelter him best I can through this transitional stage of our lives. He’s young and resilient and hopefully all this won’t damage him long term. I’m wounded I couldn’t see my daughter but It is father’s day after all. I just hope and pray that im being at least half the dad to my children that my dad was to me. Thanks to my superhero, for the first time ever iv been made to feel like that’s a possibility. Her actions today have made me realise so much. Most importantly that this incredible specimen of a woman is going to be such an amazing role model one day. If she can perceive, contribute and make me realise all the good parenting I’m doing she knows what being a parent is all about. And that’s what excites me the most. Today may have been my best ever father’s day, but it was my pitchers first of many in so many different ways. For that I am forever in her debt although she won’t see it like that. Coincidentally, this post is constructed with 831 words.
Always remember, there’s always tomorrow
From me to you