Really Though? Does It Get Better?

Well today I finally received a long awaited phone call from my son. It had been a little over two weeks since hearing his voice. I knew I was getting a phone call today thanks to my support group who were receiving phone calls from their loved ones in the same Division as my son. I'm so glad I didn't miss his call.

I've read horror stories of families missing their loved ones calls, for whatever reason. Because who knows when they will get the chance to call again. When I answered the phone and heard his voice I was beyond excited! When he heard my voice I heard his voice crack a little and could tell he was crying a bit. Inside I was heartbroken hearing my son get so emotional. I tried to not to lose it and started to tell him about all the letters I have sent (which he hasn't received 😡). And telling him about how I decided to help out again this year at his old high schools JROTC.

I figured since his instructors made such an impact in his life and provided him with valuable advice, I would pay it forward by helping them and the next generation of recruits. It was rather difficult being there without my son, but it also felt good to be there for the new parents and their kids. Returning to the phone call. He is very homesick but knows he needs to follow through to the end and reap all the benefits of this decision of joining the Navy.

I updated him about his friends and his three kitties which miss him tremendously. I let him know how proud I was of him and no matter the outcome of these next few weeks, we will never cease in supporting him in whatever he chooses to do with life. I always tell both of my kids that family is the most important thing in life. Not possessions, status, or acceptance. FAMILY will be there for you for the rest of your life with hesitation and or circumstance. I always told myself I will not let my children suffer like I did growing up. But it has made me who I am today. So like a spectator, I can't help at boot camp. He sounded like he had a cough and his knee was bothering him. He also has a rash on his arms and chest. It kills me that I can't take care him. Why is it wrong to want to help your child when they are hurt or in pain? Sometimes I get the "He's an adult now," "You have to let go," or "He has to learn to take care of himself." Well screw all that! By helping him I am teaching him and showing him how to take care of himself. And I want him to know how much I love him and care for him. Isn't that part of a mother's job? When we would travel or go places my husband and I would get compliments all the time on how well our children behaved. I'm not a perfect mother by any means. But I think it makes a difference when you give them the love and attention they deserve. I prayed for both of my children. I had a hard time getting pregnant. So my two blessings are my life. My reasons for living. So I'm going through separation anxiety. It doesn't feel like it's getting better but changing. I can't explain it. I cried the "ugly cry" when we hung up. It took a while for me to calm down. My poor daughter witnessing this "ugly cry!" Probably more often than she should. But I'm glad I have her to hug and hold.

So hold on to your little ones and take the time to understand them. Listen to their silly stories and tell them how much you love them! I'm glad I did everyday with my son!

To be continued...