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It has been nothing short of a struggle with six kids—two being my biological, and four being my boyfriend's. My two are with us always. Their father, my ex husband, left a couple years ago and jumps from state to state and he doesn't call for months at a time. His four, we have five-six days a week. His ex wife is supposed to have them Friday night through Sunday early afternoon but rarely makes it her whole visit. They are R–three-years-old, H–three-years-old (they are two months apart). Then there is K–six-years-old, C–seven-years- old, L–eight-years-old and A–ten-years-old. I couldn't be more in love with there dad and I wouldn't change things for the world. I love all of them so much. But let me tell you. Stepping in and taking in four more that aren't my own is exhausting. And he knows that. He knows that he hit gold finding a women that has done just that as their "real" mom has begun to bail. He cooks he cleans and he takes better care of me then I have ever experienced being as I was married to a complete POS. We're a team and we do everything according so. My son, being very very mildly autistic has accepted and loves him. And my daughter adores him. She has really never had a father figure in her life beings as her dad left when she was nine months and never really had anything to do with her when he was home anyways. So I'm gonna try writing each day. Or every couple and share our crazy world with everyone. It started off a little bumpy. We were very on and off. But things got serious. He begged for a chance. And now we all live together in a tiny 1000 square ft house. Two bedrooms. Two baths. But somehow we balance the chaos and we make it all work. He's my best friend and teammate. There isn't screaming or arguing and fighting like both of our past relationships. When we disagree we agree to disagree and move on. Or if we come to an obstacle we talk through it. We find a solution together.
Would you ever...
"Would you ever get married again?"
That's what he asked me last night. As we sat and ate our dinner after doing our nightly bedtime routine.
It had always been a hard no for me. I figured I would eventually probably find someone I fell in love with again. Made me gain back hope in finding someone. But I just figured we could be together. Why would we have to get married. Look at everything I had gone through. But when he asked me that I questioned myself. And over the last few months I had had wondering thoughts because of a lot of friends getting married and engaged recently. And so I answered and told him just that. Which is another thing I love. We are both openly honest with each other. He knew before my thoughts in marrying again. So I know he was asking to see if I had changed my mind at all. We've had the occasional conversation joking about what would be at our wedding or what songs to dance too. But I think I could see it. I could see marrying this man. He is so family oriented and everything is for his children. As we first met his ex had the kids more half and half. So he had three nights off a week with no kids and I would find a sitter for mine every so often so we could do dinner or something. And nights when I couldn't he would bring dinner and we would watch a movie. Always after bedtime so they never saw him coming and going. I don't allow that until I'm sure the man is going to be around long term. But anywho, when we decided to move in together I told him he needs to realize I don't get a break. I don't have nights off. I don't have a coparent that splits my time with my kids.
He didn't even hesitate. He didn't even think twice. And now having his kids full time I see why. He is an amazing dad. He fights for more time with them. He doesn't want nights off. And the nights where it is only my two, nothing is different. Nothing changes. He doesn't take a break it sit and do nothing since technically it's his night off and he doesn't have any of his own. He is engaged and active with my kids as well. Another reason to add to the list of why I'm so in love with him.