Our Journey

My husband and I met when we were in high school. I was 15 (although he's convinced that I was 16) and he was 17. We started out like any other normal couple in high school. Awkward hand holding, clumsy kisses, the whole nine yards. Things got pretty serious, almost too fast, and we were suddenly in a more adult relationship than most 25+ adults are in nowadays. But we weren't nearly old enough to handle such a relationship. Eventually, the pressures of an adult relationship caused us to make some very adult decisions about intimacy.

I'm not here to tell you that it was a good thing or a bad thing. By the point we had made this decision, I had already turned 16, so I was of legal consenting age. That's not the problem. The problem was that we were teenagers engaging in 'adult' activities. The sneaking around was okay for awhile, but eventually, it began to weigh on both of us. Our relationship went into a tailspin that resulted in some not so nice words, and some not so nice actions, committed by both of us. When we split, we decided that it was best for both of us. We just weren't ready for the kind of relationship we thought we wanted.

Fast forward about three or so years later, and he reached out to me on Facebook, out of the blue. We talked, caught up like old flames do occasionally. We started spending most of our time Skyping, messaging back and forth on Facebook, and texting ALL THE TIME. It was almost like nothing had changed. And it hadn't.

We decided together to give our relationship another try since we had both since graduated high school and were in a more stable place as far as life was concerned. Things were great for awhile. We spent time together, and still Skyped, texted, and went back and forth on Facebook when we weren't together in person.

One thing led to another (not interesting details) and we had another mutual parting of ways. January of 2013, we split up and went our separate ways. I moved on into failed relationship after failed relationship. My life was in a tailspin, a downward spiral, but I couldn't even see it. Reflecting on it now, I can see it clearly. But it's hard to see your life falling apart around you at 19.

And then, in September of 2015, I had just gotten out of a HORRIBLE relationship, and I moved back home to lick my wounds and attempt to become a functioning human being again. A month later, I ran into the person I least expected to run into, walking through Walmart with a bag of dog food on my shoulder. I wasn't sure that he would want to talk to me, let alone see me, so I didn't say anything to him, tried to ignore him, and left Walmart.

A few weeks later, I worked up the courage to reach out to him, because I couldn't stop thinking about him. Honestly, I had just wanted to catch up and see what he had been up to with his life since the last time I had seen him. Turns out, he had been thinking about me too. We went back to messaging on Facebook regularly for quite a few weeks. It got to the point where we were both DYING to see each other, so we arranged for him to come see me so we could spend some time together.

The day he came to visit felt like literally nothing had changed. You could tell that as separate people, we had grown, matured, and really taken on the role of adults. As we talked and played video games (our BIGGEST common activity) we quickly realized that something felt different about that time. The times before, we knew that we weren't ready for the kind of relationship we wanted. But this time, we realized that this could be it. Our chance to really see if our relationship could survive adulthood.

He had been doing a paper route when we started talking again, so I decided that I would ride along and help him a few times, to give us more time together to talk and figure things out. We had both been in short-lived, dead-end relationships, and decided that it was in our best interest to end them. Mine was easier (women can be so clingy). I went with him on the paper route for a total of five mornings, and things were looking up.

The morning of Wednesday, November 11th, 2015 started out like any other morning. We were moving right along with the paper route, laughing and joking like old times, torturing each other with memories of high school, and making new memories. But halfway through the paper route that morning, we were in a serious car accident, that left us both unconscious for at least 30 minutes. Both of us beat up and bloody. It was bad.

Turns out, I broke my left arm, dislocated my right hip, and ended up with a massive traumatic brain injury (TBI). He got very lucky (definition depends) and broke his nose, and pushed a small piece of his eye socket out when he hit the rearview mirror. He was driving, and he's 6'5", so he was pretty wedged in there. I was in the passenger seat, and neither of us were wearing seat belts (I know, stupid). After the first responders got me out of the car and loaded us into the ambulance, off we went to the hospital.

I was put under sedation so they could reset my hip, and splint my arm, and when I woke up, a trauma doctor cleaned and stitched the cuts on my face. I was admitted and ended up having surgery the day after the accident. They wanted to implant a titanium plate onto the bone I broke in my arm to stabilize it (my brother, upon seeing one of the x-rays, said that it looked like my arm had a second elbow. Not good).

After my surgery, Kevin (my now husband), refused to leave my hospital room. The only exceptions were to go see a doctor about the lump in his chest (unrelated to the accident), and home to take a shower and change clothes. He stayed with me the entire five days I was in the hospital. The day of my surgery, we had a long talk about what had happened, and how it impacted our lives. In the end, we decided that the accident was significant enough trauma to make us both realize that what we wanted was each other. It may seem a little rushed, but since we had been together twice before, it didn't really feel that quick to us. It felt more like it was life telling us to go for it.

A month later, I was up and walking (kind of, I was technically walking by Thanksgiving that year, even if I wasn't supposed to). He had a cyst removed from his chest at the beginning of December, and we were both laid up for awhile.

When we were both finally in better shape, medically, we made a decision that I don't think I will ever regret. On March 18, 2016, we bought a ring, and he got down on one knee right in my father's living room. That may seem quick too, but we knew that we were happy and that we wanted to stay together this time, and would put the necessary work in.

Fast forward to September of 2017, we got married, and haven't looked back since. And now, here we are, closing in on our first wedding anniversary. I'm not entirely sure why I wanted so desperately to share our story with all of you, but it felt right. We've only shared our story with our family and friends, and the occasional stranger who asks. We've had our ups and our downs, just like any other couple. We've hit rough patches and found things that we both need to improve.

I guess what Iwanted to convey is that no matter what, if you know that you love someone, give it a chance. Don't write it off so quickly because it doesn't work. And I know. You're not supposed to go back to an ex, because they're an ex for a reason. Well, I'm here to tell you that for some, an ex, is the best gamble you could ever make. It won't be right for everyone, and I'm not saying that an ex is a good option if there is a really good reason they're an ex (definitely don't condone repeating an abusive relationship), but don't count a good person out too quickly. You could be pushing away the love of your life.