Not Sisters, but Friends

Disclaimer:

I wrote this for my Honors Sophomore English class so about three years ago. I feel that a lot of my feelings about it have changed for the better. Nonetheless, I chose to share it because it reflects a piece of my history and that of my family. Having Sadie leave the home was very hard and I struggled with it, and even struggle with it to this day. I feel guilty. Perhaps, if I had tried harder, she could have stayed. But she went, and I think it was for the best. Sadie truly grew and my relationship with her changed into one with more positivity. I used to say I loved her with much force, but now I can not help burst at the seams with love for my sister. Though I display it in my own way.

Everyone always told me I was the child to be had. The perfect little girl. Mature and smart at a young age. Unfortunately, my sister was not told this as often. Maybe she would be different if she had been told that. Shown a little love and she’d be great. She was that kid that you see in the store and feel an immediate pang of pity for the mother and immediate family. The kid that some people saw one side of and other people observed another. But the expedition my family, and I, were about to embark on was one unprecedented. I had always seen family as the main priority in my life, but I never had known it for myself. Thus, began the adventure to instill my beliefs further into my own life as well as the lives of those around me.

Sadie and I are as different as the night and day. Sadie stands as a tall, and odd blonde with deep brown eyes, while I stand on the opposite end of the spectrum. A short, thin, brunette with ever-changing eyes, an extra four years, and an easily sociable character. Sadie’s dad used to abuse her and then left us at a young age. She shut out everyone who tried to come into her life. She was young but understood that no one loved her. I was even scared of her at most points As the years grew, Sadie was unneeded and she knew this. Eventually, counseling was recommended, scheduled, and attended. Appointments flew by without results. At such a point, a boarding school was brought to the attention of my family, Sunshine Acres. This marked another chapter for both my sister and myself.

We excitedly scoured the brochure and as each detail was discovered, our hunger for change was fed.

“This place sounds so cool! I’ll get to have a skate-park, an indoor pool, and even train with horses!” Sadie exclaimed.

“Yeah, but will you actually change? Or remain schizophrenic Sadie?” I questioned.

“I want to change. I do. I just don’t know how.”

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to see then,” I said, “I can’t handle this any longer.”

I could only think of how wonderful it would be the moment she left the premises. I would feel like an only child for a little while. But the awkwardness and sorrow brought on by such thoughts, lingered, ready to overtake most of my thoughts. Yet hope surmises all and leaves a pleasant feeling of goals to reach.

My mom walked into the room and I could instantly tell how much weight such a decision bore on her. “It’ll really change her. I can see it in her eyes. But we can only hope.”

“You and me both, mom,” I say. I truly feel for her, but disgust and exasperation for my sister fester in my heart and could not be removed, even by the surgeon general.

“I just want… I mean… nothing else has… I just want you to be sisters again.” My mom bursts into tears and I can’t help but throw my arms around her and push aside my own feelings.

Indecisiveness led us to tour the school. We drove an hour and a half to wait anxiously in the office for another hour. Suddenly, a modest man with a thick mustache approached us and introduced himself as Michael, the head of the school. He pleasantly escorted us to a nearby golf cart and begins a lengthy discourse on all the attributes of such a place. My eyes wandered along the numerous houses, the school, and the garden. My thoughts lead me to believe it to be a resort and one of the most gorgeous facilities I had ever seen. I watch the scenery flash before my eyes and before I know it we have a hefty decision lying before us.

“I absolutely love it! I can’t wait to move in!” Sadie exclaims.

“Woah woah woah woah. Nobody says you’re going just yet,” I say. I settle in ready for what’s next.

“Honey, I love you, but I think, I think it’s the right place for you,” my mom almost whispers. And that was that. It was said, and the decision was made.

Sadie was dropped off in her new home for the next school year. I was to start my freshman year the very next day. A tidal wave of emotion swept over me and I began to sob. My family and I huddled together and shed tears of hope, regret, disdain, remorse, sorrow, but most of all, love.

Over the next year, dramatic changes took place within my sister, my family, and myself. Sadie halted all lonely and despising actions and began to act more selflessly than selfishly. I grew to allow myself to love her, and soon she grew to not only be my sister but one of my closest friends. The Mormon religion believes that families will be together forever. I had previously dreaded the thought of being with Sadie forever, but now I am anxious to the brim for such an eternity to begin. Thus, my belief of family being my main priority, became my knowledge on such topics. Now, as time flies by, I find myself to be elated about her growth both as a person, as well as our growth together as sisters and best friends.