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Escape from Abusive Families

By Iria Vasquez-PaezPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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I have an idea for a non-profit, which is to establish a non-profit as well as shelter, dedicated to helping people escape abusive families, as well as get on or off disability. This non-profit would serve people who have disabilities in my community but not have an attitude about it like Momentum for Mental Health or NAMI. Such non-profits have an “uppity” air about them as if your disability matters way too much. I need to staff my non-profit with staffers who understand my mission is to serve disabled people. The non-profit would need to compile resources such as staff, as well as a shelter location.

You see, disabled or abused adults via their families’ garbage do not have hotlines to turn to for domestic violence help. Some hotlines only serve women with abusive partners. Many shelters are also set up the same way, women escaping an abuser who needs a place to hide out. Nobody thinks of disabled adults who are trapped in their parents’ financial web or for that matter, on disability trying to earn extra income within the limit. There isn’t enough awareness of what happens to disabled people in their adult lives, who are trying to get away from family issues.

We do not have resources for this population right now in the United States. It is hard to get away from families sometimes because families tell you consistently that you can’t be on your own, no, you can’t. It also means that families do not support us trying to work besides getting medical care. At times, when the disabled person does something without family support, the family can cut them off from medical care as well as financial support. This is why we need to put together resources for disabled people.

The thing is, having a disability means that you hear a lot about what you can’t do. Your family makes sure they shove self-doubt inside your head quick enough. If a family is safe, normal, and non-punitive, the disabled person can generally live at home in relative comfort as well as with safety. For some people, the disability is seen as something that can be used to shame them, in an easy fashion. Oh the shame of the disability, the shame. If parents use this to trap their children, they can stay put in those parental-given shackles forever.

When they become trapped, they feel they can’t get out. You become desensitized to all the abuse. No one has the right to abuse disabled people just because they cannot do something, whatever their limitation may be. There are few resources for those of us who have disabilities and want to make money only because nobody thinks of us. We are cast-offs, and this is deliberate. I have limited knowledge of resources—so feel free to contact me on my blog if you know of any resources I can compile. People with disabilities cannot often find help for themselves, save family once again, the only resource they have. Statistics of those who abuse disabled children are grim.

Even more so, when the child is an adult with work experience, the family may not always be conducive to supporting their ability to work. Having a disability in an abusive family means that the child will automatically be mistreated, or abused in many possible ways. The abuse of children is meant to be demeaning deliberately, if only because abusers like having power or control over people. They like messing with people’s lives. It is hard to leave an abusive partner let alone a family. But those who have done it serve to prove to the rest of the world that they’ve succeeded.

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About the Creator

Iria Vasquez-Paez

I have a B.A. in creative writing from San Francisco State. Can people please donate? I'm very low-income. I need to start an escape the Ferengi plan.

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