Nine Months In/Nine Months Out

Today my only son turns nine months old. I held him inside my body for nine months and now today, we celebrate nine months of life, on the outside—nine months. 39 weeks. 273 days. 18 months of life and growing! Not quite a year, yet still significant to me!

They tell you horror stories about birth and how hard the newborn stage is. They tell you everything is worth it but they don’t tell you about the confidence that motherhood brings to some. Now, I’ve never been one to care about the opinions of others, but since having my son, I have a new sense of confidence in the fact that other people’s opinions are worth NOTHING to me as long as my baby is happy & healthy! My son loves me completely as I am, and I couldn’t ask for more than my giggly, cuddly, squishy, baby boy loving me, flaws and all.

I can’t forget about my awesome husband in all this gushing about motherhood! The strength I have, and the ability to be the best mother I can be, relies solely on my husband working so hard day in and day out so I can stay at home with our son. I knew from a young age I wanted to be a mother. I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d end up being able to stay home with my child. However, I’ve been blessed BEYOND what I ever thought I deserved with my hardworking husband! Being a stay-at-home mom is such a blessing that I am grateful for even on the bad days. :)

I never knew how much love my heart could hold until I saw my son. I had waited nine long months to see him and when the day finally came that we saw each other for the first time my heart nearly burst with love and adoration for the tiny life we’d created. I cried along with him as he was placed in my arms and the euphoria was something I honestly cannot describe. He is everything and more. He is my life! I’m not sure how I lived without him before but I can honestly say that motherhood has made me a more positive person. I no longer have time for fake people or bad vibes. I don’t tolerate inconsistency and will not allow my son to be exposed to toxic people, whether that’s family or friends.

Motherhood has changed me for the better. I do not doubt myself like I used to. I wake up every single day ready to crush it, just like the day before. I put 110 percent of my heart and soul into raising a true gentleman. I want him to be strong yet caring, smart yet understanding, confident yet respectful.. This is something I will not fail at. I will not fail as his mother. He’s got me in his corner no matter what and that will never change! That’s my baby, and I’m enamored every single day at who he’s becoming. His personality is as big as his smile and heart.

I could honestly write about my child for days. My heart swells with pride anytime I think of all the things about him that make him who he is. But, as stated at the beginning of this sentiment, my baby boy is nine months old today. Time is flying by so so fast and sometimes I wish it would all just slow down, but the other part of me is so excited to watch him grow and learn every day! I’ll always be right here cheering him on and encouraging him to keep trying until he gets it right!

18 months of growing and we’re only just getting started... I am excited to see what new things we learn together in the months/years to come. He will always be my (almost) 10lb baby. The first born. My everything and then a little more. My squishy ball of love. My lil love bug. My reason for breathing and who I’d happily give up my life for.

As the book You Made Me a Mother by Laurenne Sala goes, “I will open my heart and love will rain down all over you. You’ll giggle and I’ll do it all over again. We will walk hand in hand, until you let go... I made you, but you made me a mother.”—and I’ve never been more grateful for anything in my life.

Love and light,

Olivia (Mama)