New Parents

These sweet little girls in the picture above are a gift from God. Even though they are not mine biologically, they are mine in my heart and in my soul.

A little backstory for you so you can understand what I mean. Ever since I was a little girl, I couldn't wait to be a mommy. I can remember telling my mom, at the age of 5, that I wanted to be a mommy. As I got older, that dream never went away.

I really didn't date that much in high school and I only dated a couple of guys in my earlier 20s. Then in early Spring of 2000, I met my husband. We dated for 3 years and got in engaged in Dec. of 2003. July of 2004, we got married and moved into our first house. Like most newlyweds, we weren't trying to get pregnant, but we weren't preventing it either.

In early 2006, I thought I was pregnant and made an appointment with my doctor. Unfortunately, I was not and this marked the beginning of a long road of doctor appointments, tests, tears, depression, and losing my Faith.

From that first doctor's appointment in 2006 to the last appointment with our infertility specialist in 2014, we had tried everything from IUI to IVF to have children. Then in July of 2015, my cousin sent me a message asking if we were still interested in adoption. I told her we had talked about it, but never really pursued it. She then proceeded to tell me that she was pregnant and wanted us to adopt the baby. She said she wasn't able to care for the baby and knew we could give him/her a loving home. We were so excited and started the process. Her due date was Dec of 2015 and on Nov 5th she texted me and said she was keeping the baby. I was devastated. It felt like she had reached into my chest and ripped my heart out. It caused a big rift in our relationship and in fact, we don't talk anymore. After that happened, I became depressed and gave up. I was done with it all. No more talk of having kids, adoption, foster care, nothing. There was time during all these fertility treatments and especially after what happened between my cousin and me, that I was a little bitter and mad. I couldn't understand why God didn't answer my prayers. Little did I know that in just three years, everything would change.

A close family friend had custody of her three granddaughters because of their birth mother being a drug addict. The oldest one, who is now 4 years old, was born addicted to morphine and had really bad withdrawals after she was born. My friend got her the day she was born. Then the birth mother became pregnant again, but this time with twin girls. They were also born addicted to drugs as well but not to the extent of the older sister.

My friend got the call from our local DCS office about the twins and she got them as well. She did eventually get full custody of all three girls but it took almost two years for it to be finalized. Now my friend did the best that she could to raise those girls, but due to forces beyond her control and other family members working against her, she ended up in jail.

My friend spent a month in jail for a bunch of lies that her family members said about her because they didn't want her to have to girls at all. Before she had gone to jail, she had asked her ex-husband to come to the house so he could be there for the girls. She also told him to call me and I could come to pick the girls up since the birth mother couldn't be around them due to her drug use. Well, he called the birth mother instead and for two weeks, we didn't know where the girls were.

We finally got the call on Oct.18, 2017 from our DCS caseworker that she had found the girls and she was on her way to bring them to us!! I was so happy and so nervous at the same time. Even though I had been around the girls and had babysat them a few times, it was still a little scary for me and for them as well. They had been bounced around so much in their young lives, they weren't sure what was going on.

When we finally got the girls, I was kind of shocked. They had on clothes that were too small and shoes that were almost two sizes too small. They were filthy and had circles under their eyes. One of the twins would have nightmares almost every night. She would wake up screaming at the top of her lungs and I would just grab her in my arms and rock her. The other twin was so shy and bashful, she wouldn't talk to anybody. The older sister would not mind and I think she might have been a little bitter, even though she didn't know what that meant.

After we got the girls, we started the long process of gaining full custody of them. Our first court date was in December of 2017 and we had to go to court three times because the birth mother and birth father would never show up. Finally in Feb. 2018, we were given custody of the girls and this past June, everything was finalized. We have full custody of the girls!

Even though it has been a rough road to travel and I never thought we would get here, I wouldn't change it for anything. I now understand why God didn't answer my prayers to have children. He knew that these girls needed us and we needed them as well.