Growing up in a dysfunctional household puts you at a risk for not having a very close relationship with siblings. It is shown that many siblings that come from abusive and dysfunctional homes do not have good relationships as adults and continue the abuse they were subjected to as kids through adulthood. Sisters and brothers are often made to compete for love and attention in a dysfunctional house as well as many are turned against each other by the narcissistic or abusive parent. Some of these children actually take on the role of the abuser in their adult life. These siblings are not in any way what a bond between siblings should be. They do not want the best for you and will do such horrendous things to damage you, they can and will try to destroy every asset of your life.
You must protect yourself from the sibling who is sneaky and working undercover to take you out. You may ask yourself why would they want to hurt me? It's very simple: narcissistic siblings do not have feelings and they may be envious of you or just want to remain in control of the family unit. It is usually the scapegoat of the dysfunctional family that they grew up in that they target and try to take down first. The scapegoat has already endured so much prior abuse and they usually are the one with the most knowledge and the sibling feels threatened. These are the classic signs of a sibling who is toxic:
- You can't explain it but you just don't feel good around them; a sense of being uneasy comes in your gut during time near them.
- They are manipulative.
- They are overly critical of everything and anything that has to do with you.
- They tell other family members things that you shared with them in private or they tell family members lies about you or over exaggerate stories that have to do with you.
- They will fake concern and try to make you feel guilty if you ever do stand up to them.
- They will paint a picture of you being crazy or mentally unstable to your family. They will be very subtle and cause an argument out of nowhere to make you look bad or even unstable.
- They are constantly in competition with you. You may see them acting jealous and even going as so far as to flirt with your date or partner in your face or behind your back.
- They steal any friends you have and may try to interfere with the relationships you have with your other family members.
- They play the victim very well and are very passive aggressive.
- You feel like they are always judging you.
- You feel that they are always asking you personal questions trying to always dig for more information. They may ask your partner or kids questions about you.
- They lie to you about anything and when you call them out they try and twist things around.
- You just feel exhausted around them, they suck the life out of you and you feel depressed after being around them or even paranoid
If this sounds like one of your siblings you need to take action and protect yourself before your life or reputation are ruined. They will do everything from gossip and talking bad about you from behind your back or to your face to threatening you with legal action and creating a smear campaign against you, false accusations, getting police or other authorities in your life, telling family members lies about you, trying to sexually pursue your partner, turning your kids against you or worse saying you are an unfit mother and getting CPS involved with you family. The list of the pain they can and surely will use to destroy you is endless.
You have the right to be around healthy individuals who make you feel good. Toxic siblings can cause so much stress and destruction. It's important to set boundaries, whether that may be not communicating as often to as going as far as not having contact with them. Dysfunction in families causes many lifelong issues and its important we recognize those people in our life who are toxic and bringing us down. The struggle to remove yourself from toxic family members is hard and lonely but it is worth the peace it will bring you to know you cant be hurt by them anymore.