My Prayer to You, Granny

Dear Granny,

The morning I woke up to the horrifying phone call, I drove fast to your side; I prayed for God to wake you up. I prayed that you not have to go this way, because you deserved a peaceful eternal slumber. I prayed that you not live in a state of fear or pain, that you’d get better, wake up, and experience all of the love surrounding your bed. I prayed you stay with us a little longer so I can wish you a happy belated birthday from just days before, a happy belated Mother’s Day that I was drunk for, and only wrote a post on social media while feeling sorry for my stressed out self.

God answered.

You awoke the morning you were to be put to rest. I was so confused but overjoyed. I had a chance to talk to you again, putting my regretted forgetfulness to ease. I had a chance to express how I love you so, tell you about your great-grandchildren and their developing genius, and dance with you accompanied by your favorite music. I opened your window shade to allow you a view of the beautiful blue sky that so patiently awaited your flight. You were healing, as far as I knew, and beautifully so. I will always feel you squeezing my hand.

Everything changed so fast...

You were scheduled for a surgery that would help you to be more comfortable; my thoughts and hopes being so high and proud. The doctors took so long to take you, and I saw how restless you’d become. My heart pulled me to your side; I felt as if you were nervous, scared. I finally stood up and came to you, holding your hand, and felt you calm down. I saw your anxious legs ease and your eyelids become one as you drifted to sleep. I held your hand and observed your beauty, your love, your peace. I thought about the day you told me your lifelong dream of having a restaurant of your very own, thinking of how I may go about helping you grasp that dream once you were out of your bed.

It was time for me to go back home, and I let your hand go. I didn’t say goodbye, not because I was being selfish, but to keep you in a restful state. The next day, I was told you were doing great, but still asleep. You were moved away from the most caring nurses to a room of bore and neglect. You weren’t getting the same love as you were before from the strangers surrounding you.

Everything changed.

You became ill once again, but worse than it already was. Your movement and joy didn’t regain once woken, and your blood grew lethal. I never had a chance to visit you again, but I thought of you every single day that passed. I had a plan to visit you in just two days, but my plan wasn’t God’s plan.

Your Irrevocable Slumber

Being in your final home on Earth, a place of hospice, you nestled into your bed. I pray that you were most comfortable, as you deserved to be. You fell asleep one last time, taking your dying breath, and slipping away to a new world that harbored no pain or illness, but happiness and peace. You joined your spirited family once more, and gained such divine feathers. I can imagine you are probably most excited to finally meet the man whose music made your world go round, your granddaughter whose life you would have gifted with your own, your parents who left our world years ago, and my two angels that never had a chance to be known outside of my body.

Dear Granny

I pray that you are the happiest that you have ever been, having the health and comfort you deserve, and having the utmost joy surrounding you.

I pray that you never question my love for you.

I pray that you look down upon us from time to time, reminding us of your adoring nature and warm hugs.

I pray for just one visit so I can talk to you once more and hear your voice, so I can laugh at your inappropriate jokes, and to feel a kiss upon my tearful cheek.

I pray that you give me the strength and courage to get past the shattering pain of losing you.

I pray for you to have a restaurant in the clouds so every spirit around you is allowed to experience your most delicious recipe.

Finally, I pray you hear my farewell and feel that I had so many plans I wanted you to join. I know you’ll be here with us in spirit and in heart until one day we can join you once more.

I am forever your pumpkin; You are forever my Granny. I love you. Goodbye.

Thank you for visiting.❤️