My New Journey Into Stay at Home Momma-hood

What comes to mind when you hear the words “stay at home Mom”? Do you picture her in a robe and slippers, binge watching her favorite show while sipping a nice glass of red? Do you envision her drowning in a dog pile of children, not having showered in days? Quite honestly, my experiences thus far have proven it’s kind of a combination of both.

Like many people, I greatly underestimated what it took to be home with my kids full time. First off, I never in a million years thought that I myself would be a stay at home mom! Me?? The one who took so long to become financially independent. The one who, in the first place (if I’m being honest), never thought I’d even want kids. I was always the one who said “I’ll just get a bunch of dogs.” (insert exaggerated eye roll)

Of course, my life is not what I pictured it’d be five, even two, years ago. But then again, who the hell knows what life will throw at them!

I’m the proud Mom of two beautiful kids: a budding 7-year-old boy and a beautiful 6-month-old baby girl. Up until my daughter was born, I was very focused on my job. I had no other choice but to be! My son was in daycare full time, and when he started school, he would ride the bus to his daycare until I got off of work. The staff there became like his second family. Raising him was always a joint effort between myself, his daycare and my family. Sadly, he spent more time with other people than he did with me. It was just how it was and it became normal to us. He didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he loved being there. I don’t think he knew a world that existed without going to a daycare, and that was okay.

When I became pregnant with my daughter, I never could have dreamed it’d turn into me staying home after she was born. I Googled, like a mad woman, the laws surrounding maternity leave, and constructed my plan to stay home for those few unpaid weeks after she was born, eventually leading me back to my 9-5 with her in daycare also.

And then she was born...

Now I know what you’re thinking... why did you stay home with her and not when your son was born?? Is he just chopped liver?? Of course, the answer is no.

My love was equally overflowing for both my babies, but my circumstances had obviously changed. My now fiancé is such an amazing father and stepfather to our children. THAT is what made the difference. I didn’t have to do it on my own now! And it felt wonderful.

From the moment our daughter was born, we both knew how hard it would be when my maternity leave time was up. All of these feelings seemed like distant memories for my now 7-year-old, I had forgotten almost everything! All the fear, all the butterflies, all the stress and sleepless nights, quickly came back into my reality with this fresh new baby girl.

We made the decision to stretch out my maternity leave as long as humanly possible. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and before I knew it, my time was up. I just couldn’t leave her... who would care for her as well as we did? She was just so small and helpless.

And then my fiancé told me that I didn’t have to go back if I didn’t want to. Wait, what? Stay at home? How would we make ends meet? So absolutely scared and unsure, we made the decision. I quit my job, completely upsetting my boss. It was surreal to say those words: “I’m not coming back.”

Fast forward to now, 6 months into this new journey, and I can confidently say that it is entirely different in so many ways. Let’s face it, most families are a two-income household, simply because it has to be that way. Whether you stay home with your babies, or work, we all love our children just the same. I’ve learned how important it is to savor every small moment. Every sleepless night, every messy corner of my house, and every day that I feel overwhelmed, I try my best to stop and realize how lucky I am in this life.

The days sometimes feel long, but the weeks turn into months, and those pile up quickly. It was especially hard giving up my career and the stability it gave to me. It took me so long to be able to support myself, and giving up that control was difficult. Sometimes you have to just have faith that it will all work out.

I have a new found appreciation for all moms everywhere, working or staying at home. It’s tough, y’all! But we do it because we want the best for our kids.

There are times where I miss work. Having a schedule to stick to, deadlines to meet, and a bunch of people my own age to socialize with every day. But I know there will always be more money to be made... I can never get this time back with my babies, and that is priceless to me.