My IVF Journey, Part 1

Pregnancy... one of the world's greatest experiences for most. For those dreaming to become parents, it's such a joyous occasion when you find out you're pregnant. It's even super exciting when you just find out. Me... oh, that's not my story. My story isn't as easy as "Oh, I got off the pill after nine years and three months later I was pregnant and now I have a beautiful, healthy baby." No. Mine is going to take a little longer than that.

June 26, 2015... My wedding day. This day was without a doubt the happiest day of my life (and I sincerely mean it). It beats out graduating with a Master's degree, buying my first car, and even buying my first house with my husband. But... that day wasn't just about my wedding. It came with many, many people asking "So when are you going to have kids?" Seriously. I walked down the aisle, said "I do," and no more than two hours later, I was supposed to have my kid's due date known. So my answer for everyone was "Soon. We want to be married for at least a year." So a year came and went quite fast.

I went off the pill in May 2016. It was kind of freeing. No longer was I attached to a pill telling my body what to do (or not to do). Now, my body could get itself ready to, hopefully, have a baby. It was nerve wracking at first, but I got over that fairly quickly. Now, sex has always been a part of my relationship. From here on out, though, it felt different. It was baby-making sex, with a hope to have fun and produce a child in the process. So that's what we did... had sex (lots of it) and had fun.

Then the months went by—two, three, four months—and nothing happened. "Okay," I told myself. "I was on the pill for nine years. Maybe my body needs a little more time to adjust." My gynecologist at the time started doing a few things to check out if there were any other circumstances holding us back. After doing some things, he said it seemed we should be okay, but we would try some alternatives. So for three months, I was on a medication. That didn't work. Then three more months on medicine, along with two IUI's (intra-uterine insemination) that were more than just uncomfortable despite what Google said. Still nothing. We came up on a year, and nothing.

For me, that was okay. We still had time. Then, in the summer of 2017, my doctor referred us to a fertility clinic. Maybe they could figure out what was going on. A few more tests (an HSG for me, sperm analysis for him), and then we found out.

Now, I could tell you what was wrong. Hell, I was riddled with anxiety leading up to figuring it out. But, at the end of the day, that didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was when the specialist spoke the next few words..."If you want to get pregnant, you'll need to do IVF."

IVF. In my life, whenever I have heard someone discuss it, it came with "Oh, wow, I'm so sorry," and "Isn't that so expensive?" and basically nothing good. So what was I supposed to do with that? I did what my emotions chose to do. I cried. Not just a tear here, a sniffle there. I hysterically cried and sobbed in my car for 15 minutes. How was I going to do this? How were we going to afford it? I had no idea what to do.

Then I stopped crying. I did what I always do. I cried, let my emotions out, and then started planning. That's me: Natalie the planner. First, I went and talked to a work colleague who recently went through it and found out about her experience. Then I did research. IVF is more common than I thought it was, but it was definitely not cheap. Most clinics cost anywhere from $10,000 to $25,000. After getting my information together, I had to go on and make a decision. How badly did I want a child? Would I go in debt to even have a child when children were (according to everyone else) already expensive once having them? How do I justify whatever my decision is?

I answered these questions quite easily actually, and it all had to do with one person: my husband. I talked everything out with my husband. Every single thing I found out and every single plan I could think of from how to maybe save enough money to cover even half, to waiting a certain amount of time, to trying to go out of state, I discussed with him. He just listened. When I was done, he just looked at me and said, "Let's do whatever you want. You tell me, and I'll help make it happen."

I know that not everyone has someone by their side fighting everything that comes their way. I do, and I know exactly how lucky I am to have that. Knowing that he was 100 percent by my side made the decision so much easier. So after that conversation, we made the decision: we were going to have a child, we were going to do IVF, and we would figure it out no matter what.