My Children Are My Greatest Blessings

I always dreamed of being a mother... When I was in Kindergarten I started saving toys and clothes for my "future children" in a small wooden box that my grandpa made for me. I wanted to be prepared for when I would one day be "mommy's age" and have a baby. As I grew older, I didn't want to rush into getting married and having kids, but I still kept saving things and being sentimental for when it did happen for me.

There were girls getting pregnant when I was in 7th and 8th grade, and of course many more when I got into high school. I didn't judge them. I was excited for them. Because I'd heard many family members and other kids at school talk about it like it was the worst thing to ever happen, I kept it in my head that I wouldn't let that happen to myself... I didn't want to let anyone down.

Time went by and like many others, I ended up having sex while I was still a teen. I ended up pregnant at 17. I just knew my parents would kill me... I wanted to have children, but I didn't mean for it to be this soon! I just didn't know what to do. Of course I would have this baby, but how would my boyfriend and I tell my parents? What about his mom?

We told his mom first... She was actually excited, didn't even care that I was only 17 and he was almost 20. She said she understood. She was 17 when she got pregnant with her first child too. Finally I built up the courage to tell my parents. My boyfriend went with me and did most of the talking.. My mom was pissed to say the least. Dad started to get mad but then somehow found composure and said, "Well you'll be 18 by the time you have the baby anyway, so it's okay." He then asked what we planned to do. I knew he meant that he wanted to know if we planned on getting married. After quite a few months of pregnancy, we got married and had the baby all within two weeks before having our daughter, around three weeks before I turned 18.

Our daughter was born with gastroschisis; a birth defect with no known cause—basically our baby was born without a belly button and her intestines were on the outside of her body. We spent a good 3 months with her at Children's Hospital in Knoxville. She got her surgery, went through a somewhat difficult recovery, and then finally we got to go home with her. Around her 7-8 month mark, we decided we wanted to have another baby! I got pregnant with our son and had him just a couple months after turning 19 (I'm 21 now).

I've been through it. I've heard every remark about how I'm just "a baby having babies." I've been made to feel like a whore by some people, even though I did nothing wrong. We weren't trying to get pregnant when I conceived my daughter, but she was a gift from God. Sure, I got pregnant while I was a senior in high school. Yeah, I had another one not much longer after the first. Who gives a damn? This is what my husband and I wanted. We have our baby girl and our baby boy and we couldn't be happier!

Having those babies, with this amazing man, was the BEST thing to ever happen to me. Before I met the father of my children, I was going down a bad road. I gave into peer pressure, had the wrong group of friends, gave my heart to a few guys who acted like I was important to them... but I really wasn't. If I hadn't had my babies, I probably would've been in an awful spot right now. I only drank and smoked marijuana before meeting my man and getting pregnant with my daughter, but if I hadn't met him, it could've turned into more that just a little MJ and liquor here and there. I would never change the way things happened, because it made me a better person.

Over these past four years, I've learned that people will always have something to say. There are "parenting experts" everywhere, everybody thinks they're one! Truth is, no one is a perfect parent. We all make mistakes, but it's okay. Parenting is a learning and growing experience for the child and the parents. As long as your baby is fed, clothed, has a roof over his/her head, and is HAPPY, then you're doing your job. The best thing to do for a child is give them love and the necessities. The most important thing, though, is making sure they have wonderful memories with you. They won't care or remember if they got the fanciest clothes or toys. They just want your time/attention and your LOVE.