My Abortion at 17 Weeks

Some of you have come here with pitchforks in hand, let me tell you they are not needed. This was out of my hands, something none of us had any control over this.

But I want to make this clear, I am pro-choice. That though will be a whole different article down the road.

A few years ago when I was younger I was with someone for some time. We had used everything we could to protect ourselves, we didn't want to have a child at that time. I and my partner both had a kid, mine close to a year old while my partner's child was a few years older.

Unfortunately, none of the stuff we used helped keep us fully protected. After a few weeks of having my head in the toilet and some weight gain we finally found out why I was feeling so sick. Two lines appeared on the little stick I had peed on; I was pregnant. Both I and my partner were both pretty upset. We knew we would not be able to afford another child at that time.

After days of going back and forth on what to do we both settled on it, I would have an abortion. Setting up the appointment for Planned Parenthood, we had to wait two weeks. During that time was filled with all sorts of emotions, and between me and my partner, things started to become strained.

With my first appointment, I had to drive by the people who don't have much to do with their lives besides stand outside and hold homemade signs. The place was busy with all sorts of people, people there for check-ups, to get tested, and a few women that were in the same boat as me. Planned Parenthood does a lot for both women and men, it offers so much more then what people want to believe.

When I got called back, I was talked to and asked if this was something I wanted, if I came here willingly, or if someone was forcing me to get this done. When I finally convinced the doctor that I was aware of what I was doing and no one was making me do it, we went to get the blood work and everything else started.

I was asked if they could have students come in and watch me get a sonogram. Me, being who I am, agreed, which would turn out to be a mistake on my part. As the woman started the sonogram, it was silence for a moment. Students peeked at the screen the woman was looking at, it was turned so I wasn't able to see it. After a few moments of drawn-out silence, she finally spoke, turning the screen for me to see. Pointing she had informed that I had not just one fetus, but two. My heart felt like it was shattering all around me with everyone watching me.

After having my heart broken, the doctor informed me that I was thirteen weeks pregnant and they would not be able to perform the abortion there. I would have to go to another place to have it done. Leaving, I felt as though my world was falling apart. My plans had changed, and for the next four weeks, it was an inner struggle.

I and my partner went back and forth; we didn't know what to do. We couldn't afford another kid, let alone two. Knowing I had twins, I was starting to rethink getting an abortion. Even though, I set and made an appointment with that place. During the wait for the appointment, I had informed my family of what was going on. I couldn't keep it to myself, and my partner and I were at a loss. I needed people from the outside looking in to help me figure out what we should do with the twins.

During the wait for the appointment, an old family friend got a hold of me. She had a few kids who were already pretty much grown up, and she wanted to have more kids but due to certain health issues she and her husband couldn't. It was something I never have seen coming, and with a long talk with my partner, we agreed that the twins would be adopted by her, it would be hard to hand over the kids but we knew it would be for the best.

Sadly fate can't always be kind to us. I went to the appointment to inform that we would not be seeking an abortion, I just wanted a checkup before switching over to my doctor. This is where everything went south for me. I went in for the sonogram to see how far along everything was going. This time though the woman who did the sonogram did not speak to me. She quickly left the room to bring in another woman. They again took another look inside my body.

After a few moments the woman looked to me with sad eyes and told me they had to bring in the doctor. Nervous, all I could do was nod, the woman came back with a middle-aged man who joined the other two ladies. All three of them took a look together and whispered a few times to each other. Before the doctor turned to me with a small smile and informed me they wanted to try and hear the heartbeat of the twins.

Come to find out they could hardly find the heartbeat because it was so low. It was only one heartbeat they could find, so did that mean one of the twins died? Sadly no. I was informed that it was not twins, in fact, the fetus had an abnormal growth that was much larger than the fetus. They couldn't really find the heartbeat because the fetus was dying. It would not last long, so I had to make a choice. Allow things to keep going and have a late-term abortion in a few weeks, or go through with it that day. I sadly didn't have my partner there for support since he was watching the kids.

So I made the choice, I went through with it. It took two days, day one was small bamboo sticks placed inside me. They sent me home, and the next day I came back and was put under and ended the pregnancy.

It was two days before my birthday. Every year I am reminded of what happened, and it breaks my heart every time.