'Mumming It' and Keeping Your Sanity...

I want to talk about being a Mum and keeping your sanity...

First of all I'll give you a little perspective into my story.

When I had my first child, I tried hard. I tried really hard. I tried to be superwoman. I tried to do it all. I failed. And I actually ended up in psychiatric hospital for 3 weeks.

It mortified me on the deepest level that I had to go into the hospital. The psychiatric hospital was for crazy people, right? Not little old me. Or was I actually crazy? Was this what crazy felt like?

Anyway, as my life felt like it was falling apart, I actually had some pretty powerful realisations (thank-you therapy).

The key realisation was; I actually couldn't 'do it all.' I couldn't; care for the (constantly unsettled) baby; keep the house; do the shopping; cook the meals; care for the dog; do the gardening; take the million (happy) pictures AND care for me. Who on earth could keep up with all this? Looking back at it, it became so obvious!

So, if I wasn't able to do all of this, then what could be done? I was feeling like a failure. Like it was my 'fault' somehow. But of course, nobody could succeed under this pressure, could they?!

It became clear that I needed support. With a family who lives on the other side of the world, this isn't necessarily easy to come by. So we had to think outside the box...

Fast forward a year or so and I had my first born in daycare twice a week (with the second well on her way) and we hired an au pair to help. All my values went out of the window as my self care had rightfully become a priority.

Despite all the support, second time around, I still broke down! This time it was my body that broke and not just my mind. Diagnosed with adrenal fatigue, I was told rest was the key component to recovery.

Rest I hear you cry, with a 6 month old and a 2 and a half year old?!! This may seem impossible (and it did). But we had to find a way as my body simply would not let me continue in the same way.

Sometimes you're forced to move mountains. I'd like to say I was but I simply didn't have the energy to do any moving at all. The mountains had to move around me. My husband helped thank God. He stepped our support up. More au pair hours as well as putting even more in himself.

It was at this point (when lying horizontal for various periods of time), I thought about what was actually happening (the highly frustrating thing about adrenal fatigue is your body is totally knackered but your mind is working overtime. So there is lots of time to ponder).

I remember my husband saying 'well, you have plenty of support now.' And I knew during my pondering he was right. We were both worried as I just wasn't getting better. I had all this support in place and still I was falling apart. There was something not quite right.

I worked out what was actually missing was actually taking a physical break from my life. Some time away from the children. Some time away from everything. Some time for me.

It was all well and good that we had all this support to help me. But what I was actually needing was time out. I didn't need to be helped with all I had to do, I needed 'it' (on occasion) to be done for me.

And then slowly, I started to get better. I took time for me. I started to leave them with Dad and sneak off for a haircut, a massage, a coffee, anything really! I started to stick them both into daycare and get a whole day to myself.

Recovery wasn't just about time out. That was a small portion of my healing journey. But it was an important component too. A really important component.

And I believe it's an important SOS (save our sanity) for all women. The term 'support' is thrown about and don't get me wrong it is definitely needed.

But it's not enough, alone. A physical break to recharge, regroup, and return to our Mothering role stronger isn't a possibility. It's a necessity—for the whole family.

I'll leave you to ponder how you can get physical break. I know it's hard. But the question remains; How can you make it happen for you and your family? It is possible if you think enough and prioritise YOU.