Families logo

Motherless Mom

Welcome to Parenthood

By Dusti BergstromPublished 5 years ago 6 min read
Like

This is going to be my first time sharing my story here so please go easy on me. I'm not really a writer so forgive any grammar and spelling errors.

July 21, 2018 was a huge day for me as I gave birth to a baby girl. I'm sure you are thinking that what's the big deal people have babies everyday. This is true but most of them have months to prepare. They get to take cute maternity photos and have a baby shower. Well I had no time to prepare because I went through an entire pregnancy not knowing what was coming. Yes, it really does happen and it happens more than you would think it does. I never had any of those obvious symptoms in the beginning. Never had the nausea or tender breasts. So when I had heartburn I just dismissed it at heartburn. When I felt these little rolls in my stomach I just dismissed as gas. When I felt bloated I thought it was something else all together. I already have a condition that causes inflammation in my joints so why not get inflammation in my gut. I am already heavy set so I honestly didn't notice that my stomach was rounder towards the end. Oh not to mention I was dealing with a great deal of stress in my life so missing a period was normal to me. My mom had become terminally ill and required constant care until she passed in March. Losing my mom only seven years after losing my dad was extremely emotional and my body just wasn't giving me the queues you think it should.

Now the days leading up to my delivery. It started as what I thought were my period cramps so I gave it a few days and still no bleeding. Once the pain got worse I began to worry that something was going on, but O still kept denying that i was pregnant. Late that Friday night the pain was getting worse, so I took a warm bath and while trying to get dressed I felt a pop and a gush of fluid. I knew something was definitely not right and stopped denying that I could have possibly been pregnant. I finish getting myself dressed through the back contractions and gather my things. I get myself into my car and hope and pray that I can make the short drive to the hospital. Its 6 am and I've made it to the ER. They immediately have me pee in a cup and get me into a bed. Sure enough it was positive. I just breakdown into tears because I was not ready for this. I had just lost my mom and I wasn't ready to be one yet. They did an ultrasound and checked her heart rate which was very strong. That gave me some relief but I was still terrified out of my mind. I was already 5cm dilated so they didn't take long to get me over to labor and delivery. I had already called my best friend and she came without question. By now the contractions are intense and being in my back is just making it worse. I jumped at the opportunity when they offered the epidural. Of course I had to go through this bag of fluids before they would so I watched that thing wishing it would go faster. Finally they come in for the epidural which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and once it kicked in I felt so much better. Hats off to the moms that go without any meds I don't know how you did it.

Now it's time to start pushing. At first I wasn't progressing much so they had to give me some meds but eventually came time for the hard labor. It felt like a long time but in the grand scheme of things a lot of women go through hours of pushing. Finally she is born at 6:21pm and I immediately here her cries and felt so much more relief that she was okay. She was checked out and everything looked great. She was perfectly healthy.

The whole day I keep thinking I cant keep this baby I don't have a single thing at home and in not ready for this. I even talked to someone about adoption. Now that I have the feeling back in my legs and can walk we ordered some dinner and of course my first meal after delivery had to be Chinese. Eventually they get me settled into my postpartum room and my best friend leaves for the night. This is the first time I have been alone all day. All I can do it just try to process what had just happened. I get a few hours of sleep before I wake up and I just have this flood of emotions come over me. Something is telling me that this precious little girl came to me for a reason and I'd be crazy to give her up. I think my mom was in my head telling me that I've got this. So the first person I message is her father and to this day hasn't made any contact with me or has even met her. I started reaching out to some of my family and friends to tell them what just happened. One of my friends posted on Facebook about needed things for a baby girl and so many people responded with things they could donate. Within 24 hours I had pretty much anything I would need. I generally see the good in people but the generosity of the people who helped me just leaves me speechless and eternally grateful. Several people were able to stop by and see us which made me feel even better knowing the support system I had. It was a whirlwind couple of days but I was ready to take her home.

As I write this she is now three months old and fills my days with so much joy. I like your think back on all the things I did when I was pregnant that you probably wouldn't do. I spent my 30th birthday in Disney World which is no biggie except for had I known I definitely would not have rode the rollercoasters. Thankfully I'm not much of a drinker so that wasn't an issue. I remember I mowed the grass probably a week before I had her. My back hurt so much that I didn't finish but I did most of it. Hell I even dragged one of those foam mattresses up the stairs. I'm sure there were other things but I cant think of them now.

The past three months have been an experience and I'm excited to see what the future holds for us.

pregnancy
Like

About the Creator

Dusti Bergstrom

My name is Dusti. I am a new mom to a beautiful little girl. We are both learning something new every day. I'm only 30 but I feel like I have experienced alot of things. Some are really sad and others are amazing.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.