Mothering Without One

First time mom, Nikeya Blythe-Goguen, has began writing a book, some would call, chicken soup for the young mother’s soul. The following is an excerpt from her new book, Mothering Without One. The book is still a wonderful work in progress.

“When I began this journey, I was 18. I had recently moved out of my mother’s home, into my fathers home, and then out on my own. I started college and made it through one semester.

My life changed, January 28, 2017. The nurse confirmed what I believed to be impossible. I called my husband, then fiancé, before I ever left the hospital parking lot. My mouth hung open for weeks in disbelief.

The months dragged on, and my feet swelled. My striking 115 lb. body, was quickly growing. How was I going to do this without my mom? She was busy raising my brothers, four hours away; while I, was going through one of the most terrifying experiences known.

Labor came, and she was there. Feeding me ice chips, not saying a word, but looking at me with eyes that said, 'Don’t you dare cry and scream, be tough.'

She prepped my house with diapers and wipes. There were changing pads and plastic clothes drawers in every room. Dermaplast to last months. However, the day before we were discharged from the hospital, she had to leave.

For the first week we were home with Stetson, I cried. I was exhausted and hurting, and I wanted my mama. How could something so little, turn my world upside down?

I resented my husband, I resented my baby, and I resented myself. “If only I had listened to my parents.” Postpartum hit me hard.

I saw my mother again, a month later, around Thanksgiving. I cried when she held Stetson, while I took a shower, and I cried everytime she hugged me. On the way home, I cried. My husband tried to make me feel better, but I was in total “alone at band camp, I want my mommy,” mode.

Christmas couldn’t come soon enough. I had started going back to work, around three weeks postpartum. Waitressing at night from 9 PM - 7 AM. The money was great, but I missed sleeping with my husband and our sweet new baby. During the days, my husband would work and I would be alone with the baby.

I probably called my mom ten times a day, begging her to tell me what to do. I was terrified. My husband’s family was a great help those first few weeks, and they were very supportive and loving. However, learning to mother my son, without my own mother around, made everything seem ten times harder.

Despite the trial, I’ve slowly learned how to manage not having her around. She has taught me many things in this life, but the most important thing, is how to be a mom.”

Throughout the next few months, Nikeya will be compiling real stories and experiences from twenty close girl friends, creating a masterpiece.

It will include many topics, such as: postpartum, breastfeeding, labor jitters, etc. It will also include memoirs from older mothers, and advice to new ones.

Follow the journey using the hashtag, #MotheringWithoutOne, and share your experiences. This book is an open opportunity to let mothers know that it’s okay to be forward with your experiences, and feelings. Motherhood is terrifying, and there is no reason why anyone should go in it alone. It takes a village to raise a child and hopefully, this book will be a village for a lot of new moms.