Momming Ain't Easy

Being a toddler Mom is hard. Even if your toddler is well-behaved, you have days. This picture speaks more than a thousand words. The glass of wine is just out of the shot. It's a big glass.

My toddler, she is wonderful. Smart, funny, beautiful, loving... that's all I've got for now. She's wild, rambunctious, mouthy, mean. We honestly don't know how this has become our day. Every day there is screaming, mostly hers mind you, hitting, tongue sticking-outing, licking... yes LICKING, because she knows it makes you mad. She's the child you saw in the store, running away from her Mom, screaming because, "NO, I don't wanna go in the cart!" Hiding in aisles and you can't find her until you're in such a panic, that she FINALLY shows herself.

I'm the Mom who tries everything, including bribery, to get an ounce of good behavior out of her in the store. I endure the looks, you know Moms, that LOOK people give you because your child is out of control. I'm the Mom who's constantly at a loss because, my Little Monster, she's going to have that fit, no matter what. Even if you bring the snacks, buy that cookie, let her walk, make sure it's not close to nap time, nothing will placate the beast for long.

On the other hand, I'm the Mom who worries constantly when she's sick, which is often. I have sleepless nights multiple times a month because she's got that high fever, or she's on a new antibiotic which could give her hives, and everything gives her hives. I worry incessantly about her and she doesn't understand just how much I love my Little Monster.

Then there are the comparisons... My child never did... MY child didn't say... MY child is better than yours. Boy, gotta love those perfect parents, huh? The ones whose children walk nicely in the store, glaring at you because your child doesn't. All the while their children's little eyes are filled with the longing of being allowed to be free, to be little, and curious, and a bit unruly.

Finding the balance is what I'm missing most days. We want our daughters to be strong, independent women. But how do we teach them about being proper, when they just want to be FREE? I don't want to crush her spirit, so maybe I give in, more often than I should, or than I'd like to admit... maybe I've created my own Little Monster by allowing her so much freedom, and possibly control. I'm sure it's something I've done wrong, or maybe not wrong.

That balance, I search for it every day. In my days, filled with tantrums, arguments, and so many No's, I look so hard for the elusive balance. But, then again, my days are also filled with smiles, tickles, kisses, hugs, and the random "I love you, Mommy" that seemingly comes out of nowhere. Maybe we all need to relax a little more, maybe I need to be more firm. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, so maybe I just need to learn to be more in the moment.

The only thing I'm sure of is that by 4 o'clock, I'm ready for her to go to bed. But then I'm up half the night, making sure she's ok. Also, I'm sure I love our mornings together, they are the BEST time of day. Mostly, I'm fully sure I have NO idea what I would do without her in my day. It's going to be rough once she starts school. Life will be so boring. That's something; it's certainly not ever boring. I love my Little Monster, and I can't wait to see what kind of day we'll have tomorrow!

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Photo credits: raw pixel & Hailey Kean: courtesy of Unsplash.