Mom of Twins at 17

As my title suggests, I am a young mother of two beautiful children who are twins and I am going to discuss some of the ups and downs that I have experienced.

Currently they are five years old and will be six in March. I, however, am only 23. I am sure that you can all do the math. I had my kids when I was 17 just a few months before I turned 18.

Like most teenage moms I received mean looks, nasty comments, and a lot of judgement for choosing to have my kids. But it was one of the best decisions of my life.

Of course I wish I was older or more financially stable when I had them, but if I had waited I wouldn't have THEM. They wouldn't have been raised the same way, whether that would have been better or worse.

My daughter's name is Alora and my son's name is Aiden and for anyone who is a mom or a dad you know the feeling I am getting ready to explain.

My children are my world. They make everyday worth living and everyday better than I could have possibly dreamed. Even when they are being frustrating.

I am not gonna say that life isn't still hard or that I don't still receive some very rude comments or horrible looks when people hear them call me mommy, but somehow it doesn't seem to bother me because hearing them call me mommy never seems to get old.

Whenever I tell someone that I have twins I always get one of two responses. Either I get told "Wow two in one shot. So you're done having kids now right?" Or I hear "Wow twins! That must be really hard." So I just want to clarify this really quickly.

Yes I had two kids at once and yes it is a large possibility that if I were to get pregnant again I would have twins again. However, personally I do not think that any parent wants to be asked if they are done having children, especially by a stranger.

Yes having twins has its difficulties but being a parent in general has its difficulties. Some things are harder with twins but somethings are a lot easier. For me personally, my kids learn from each other, they challenge each other, and they always have a friend or enemy right next to them.

With no age difference they get to experience things together and the rules are always the same because times haven't changed and our situation as a family hasn't changed.

Plus with twins I get twice the cuddles, hugs, kisses, and I love you's. Although no one can forget about twice the terrible threes and twice the tantrums and twice the horrible sicknesses that they share.

But once again, all of that is just part of being a parent. Which for all the parents out there, I know that most days you will agree that it is worth it.

Over the years my family has dealt with ups and downs just like all other parents. Having twins in a lot of ways is really special. I get to watch them grow and learn at amazing rates. In other ways it has also been really scary as a parent.

Watching them learn to talk, walk, and start school has been some of the proudest moments of my life. Everyday they learn something new and I get to watch that look of pure amazement pass over their face. The love of learning and amount of curiosity that the show surprises me constantly.

Although these experiences are extraordinary in so many ways, it also scared me. As one of my children excelled, I watched the other one struggle with certain things. All first time parents worry that their children aren't learning things soon enough. Or that they are missing milestones. But when you are a parent of twins, it's not every once in awhile you have these fears. You're not comparing your children to other children you see at a store or a park. So the normal things people and doctors say to calm you don't always work.

When you have twins, you compare them to each other no matter how many times you are told not to. My daughter learned to talk first and not in the sense of she learned to talk and days or weeks later he did. There were months in between the two. My son learned to crawl and walk first and once the time between the two were months not days or weeks.

These gaps between the two is like holding your breath. There is nothing but fear and horrible thoughts of what could be wrong running through your mind. Nothing that can be said makes it easier to cope with, the relief is when that gap finally closes. You are filled with love and pride all over again.

The only time I have truly agreed with the parents telling me how difficult having twins is, is when I potty trained my son and daughter. Now I am not gonna lie to you I know that some parents out there are great at this and just fly through it. I am not one of these people. I tried all the tricks and advice given to me. I read books and forums and every article I could find on potty training and potty training with twins. No matter what I read, I tried, my children would not work with me on it. I tried potty training them separately and they got jealous. I heard over and over how the other twin wanted to do it to. I tried doing it together and they fought or played instead of going potty. I tried the reward system when they actually did use the bathroom and that was probably the biggest mistake with my twins. They saw it as favoritism because one of them was grasping it faster than the other.

At this point I know what you're thinking. I said my kids are five, so they must be potty trained right? Well yes they are potty trained but it had nothing and I do mean nothing to do with me. After fighting with them and trying to encourage and support them, my children ended up potty training themselves. We dealt with rare accidents for the first few months, but after awhile they were just potty trained. No accidents at night or on road trips, no plastic covers on the bed. It was completely random and amazing. To this day I have no idea how it happened I just know that it did.

Now that my children are getting older, they are in school full time. At five years old they are just now exploring there interests and being asked for the first time what they want to be when they grow up. All parents know that every child is different and very few siblings have everything in common. For my kids this is especially true.

My daughter loves music, dance, gymnastics, and animals. For her those things are what life is about. She has decided that she wants to take care of dolphins when she grows up, although this was a compromise between me and her after her initial plan. (Her initial plan, of course, being highly illegal and involved stealing a dolphin for her to love and care for). Music and dance immediately bring a smile to her face, whether she's the one doing it or if it's on TV.

However my son is all about the outdoors and electronics. He loves sports, getting dirty, and I am sad to say but he can work my phone/tablet and computer better than I can. Despite all of this, when Aiden is asked what he wants to be when he grows up he tells you he wants to be a garbage man. After being told this numerous times over a few months I finally had to ask him what made him want to be one. His response completely shocked me. My five-year-old son told me that he wanted to be a garbage man because then he would get to find out exactly how the arms and mechanics on the garbage truck worked. If you are anything like me this would probably have left you speechless too.

When you have more than one child and their interests are as different as my children's are, your schedule as a parent starts to look like one from the movies. You have calendars of where each child has to be on each given day and your running all over the place. It can make it very hard. With twins, though, I constantly am being told how important it is to encourage them to be different and to like different things. After hearing this so much it makes me wonder if other parents are told to encourage the differences in their children. I mean when I was growing up my mom encouraged me and my brother to spend time together and to find things in common.

At times it feels like being a parent of twins is just so different that people and parenting styles just get thrown at you. Some I am sure work at times, but for me, I was so young when I had them and it has been a non stop adventure of trial and error to get through the last five years. I can just imagine what is still to come.