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Mean Mommy

Mom on Mom Crimes

By Michelle SchultzPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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I'm a single mom. I hate saying that. There are so many stereotypes that come with saying that. My three favorite questions are: "Do you know who the father is?" Nope, I'm a gigantic whore and have no idea who her father is. "Do you get a lot for child support?" Yeah, I get $800,000,000,000 a month. I got knocked up by Bill Gates. And my absolute favorite question: "Does it hurt that she looks like him?" This one I'll answer honestly instead of sarcastically; no, it doesn't hurt. It used to. But now, those features mean something different to me. I don't see his smile when I look at her, I just see my daughter smiling up at me. She took bad memories and made amazing new ones. For that, I can never repay her.

But this article isn't about the crazy questions I get asked as a single mom. It's about mother on mother crime. I can't say I'm not guilty. I'm the tattooed mom at daycare that not a lot of moms talk to... I'm hoping it's just cause I'm there as rarely as humanly possible, but based on some of the looks I get dropping off and picking up my daughter, I seriously doubt that. However, even with the dirty looks I get, I can't say I haven't judged other moms. The ones who dress their kids in matching clothes daily and their son wears little Jordan's... I can't say I haven't scoffed at them. But I shouldn't.

My whole point is that moms need to stop judging other moms. We're no better than any other mom. Who am I to say that reading my daughter three books before bed isn't fucking up her sleep schedule? There are so many ways to raise kids the 'right way' that who is anyone to say one way is better than the other? Raising kids is hard enough without judgment from other women who are going through the same damn things. I don't know a single mom that hasn't struggled to get her kid to sleep through the night. I don't know any parent that hasn't looked at the price of daycare and thought about selling drugs. I don't know one mom that hasn't had a rough day and maybe felt a little bad at screaming at her kid earlier in the day and opened a bottle of wine as soon as bedtime hit. Why are we judging each other at little league games and daycare pick up when we're all literally sitting in the exact same spot? It makes no sense.

We need to start focusing on helping each other or laughing at the stupid mistakes we make as parents at least. Wouldn't daycare be so much more enjoyable if when we walked in in the morning we were able to make jokes about how each other's hair looks because we've been up for five hours already? We should be able to smile at each other as we pick our kids up and they're fighting over the doll with marker all over her face. They're kids, they're going to play and fight and be kids and we should be able to be parents together, instead of just being parents that take our kids to the same overpriced daycare. I want to walk to the park and sit down next to the mom that lives a few blocks over and half-jokingly ask her if she wants to split a joint. Mostly, I just pray for solidarity between women raising these weird little miniature versions of ourselves.

But I also realize that I need to practice what I preach. So to any mom I've ever given a judgmental look to, I'm sorry. Next time, I'll smile and ask you how your morning went. To the mom who was out of diapers that morning and the daycare worker was giving you a hard time, I'm sorry I didn't say something to defend you. To the mom at the park who's little boy fell and I heard another mom make a stupid comment about how 'unprepared' you were that you didn't have band-aids, I'm sorry I didn't tell her to shut the fuck up. I'm sorry to every mom I've judged whether in my own mind or out loud. We all go through shit. We need to remember that. To the mom in the grocery store line, counting change from the crevices of her purse trying to make ends meet, you're not alone. To the mom sneaking outside for a smoke break during naptime, you're not alone. And to every mom who's ever made a mistake or felt like you weren't enough or broke down crying in the shower, you're not alone. Every mom struggles. We just have to remember that.

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About the Creator

Michelle Schultz

I'm mostly an editorial writer. I love to share my opinions and experiences. I don't hold back and I swear so if you take offense easily, my articles probably aren't for you. I'm a single mom just trying to stay sane.

@loreleismom

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