Mamas of Screamers

Have you ever heard someone say “My child never cried, he/she was such an easy baby?” I was once that woman before my second born. Now I want to punch my old self in the face (hehe). It’s almost as if everything I thought I knew about being a mother, completely waltzed out the door with my second baby. Realizing this VERY early on, I felt doomed.

This tiny 8 lb baby scared the living daylights out of me. All he did was cry/scream and I felt like a failure for not being able to console my own child. I thought so much to myself “what am I doing wrong!?” or “why won’t he stop screaming?!” I found myself desperately looking for answers, staying up so late googling everything I could. Joining support groups because I felt insane. Adding in that he never once took to being sat down in a swing, bouncy chair, playmat, crib, etc.

So, if you’re getting a visual it would look something like this—screaming baby, sleep deprived and emotionally distraught mom, swaying, singing, rocking, breastfeeding (non-stop) crying, crying and crying. I would just break and cry with him. The first month was so brutal and LONG. Then we jump in screaming into the second month! By this time, I felt more angry and less sad. I thought “why can’t you just be a normal baby?!” The constant negative thoughts I had, were the cause of so much unneeded stress. Stress that NO mother needs, especially if you’re trying to successfully breastfeed. My mind and heart became SO anxious and unhealthy. Guilt was so overwhelming, I was physically making myself sick.

The dishes were piling up, laundry was stacked to the ceiling, vacuuming wasn’t being done, my animals were being neglected and my first born. Oh my poor first born. The guilt I felt was so ugly because I could not figure out balance to tend to his needs. My constant screaming baby kept me from everything. Eating, going to the bathroom, staying hydrated, my fiancé, my son, my life, and my happiness. Until one day, nearing the end of his second month, I had enough of this self pity party I was throwing. I changed my attitude. I stopped with the negative comments/thinking. I stopped asking myself “why me?!” I stopped looking for answers. I stopped putting so much pressure on myself. I stopped worrying about our home being clean. I stopped feeling guilty and took this mom of two thing by the balls.

And boy did I run with it. You see, you cannot change a baby. They are born who they are, and this is who my second born was. Once I accepted that, I felt myself actually breathing lighter. I felt my shoulders loosen up, my mind was in a healthier place and my heart felt right. I decided to accept everything for what it was, and I’ve never looked back. That is how this mama survived the first two months. After accepting, then you get creative.

You figure out how to do life with a baby who screams. We’re now into our third month and if you can muster up courage within yourself /your family, you can learn to open your mind and cope in a much healthier way as a whole. You learn to REALLY take the time to read your baby and try new things to soothe him/her. Different things will work for different babies, but never give up trying. I promise you, you will survive and then thrive when you find what works for your baby. Let go, accept, TRY, survive and thrive. You’ve got this ♥️