Make Like Fergie and Get Back Your MILF Money 🍼💸

My current look is something like the "after" picture in a Don't do Meth campaign. I look like I literally reside in a dustbin. It wasn't always this way, in fact I used to have a shelf full of high end make-up and never left the house without GHDing the shit out of my hair. Now it's a quick spray of dry shampoo and I'm good to go. I've perfected the art of showering in a nanosecond, and I've learned how to make baggy jumpers work for me. I have moments of inspiration where I resolve to put a full face of makeup on every day and stick to a skincare routine for more than a week, but I always relapse. I need beauty rehab if there's such a thing.

On the plus side I've become far more comfortable with my actual face. I know what it looks like now.

Reality for a lot of mothers is we just don't have time to take care of our appearance the way we used to (not saying this is the norm for all mothers, kudos to the ladies rocking it). I can't count the number of times I've left the house in a rush and caught sight of my reflection in a car window. "Who is that girl? She needs some mascara!"

Whatever your routine, whether you were always a fresh faced beauty, or just dressed more meticulously pre-spawn, it's no secret that vanity takes a backseat when you have children.

Hands up if you went weeks after giving birth without so much as sniffing a lip gloss?

Oh I had ambitions. I wanted to be the hot mum at the school gates, complete with perfect blow dry and hunter wellingtons. I wanted to push the pram down the high street whilst sipping a latte with my perfect red lip. Instead I find myself scuttling through town like the hunchback of Notre Dame with my hair scraped in a greasy pile atop my head.

I looked to my own mother, who was always well dressed and well turned out. I saw her confidence in herself. She isn't one for highlight and contour but she always made sure she had mascara on and her hair done, she made it look easy.

It's not about what's on the outside per-se, I'm a large advocate of sexy is an attitude not a look. That being said what's on my inside isn't exactly shining through when I don't look my best, or take care of myself. I want to keep human interaction to a minimum, I wonder if I will bump into THAT hot guy and he will run away screaming in the opposite direction. I've taken some steps , I've made a list. Ladies if you can relate to this read on! Here's how to be tastier than a chocolate MILFshake 🍼🍼🍼

1. Set aside an hour a week to do a face mask and do your nails, you will notice the difference.
2. Invest in clothes that make you smile, take advantage of your new curves and flaunt them.
3. Wear red, it's the colour of passion.
4. At least make an attempt for eye make up, your eyes are your prettiest aspect, highlight them.
5. Try some cute 5-minute updos to avoid the 'bird nest' look. A chignon is great for when you don't have time.
6. Leggings and winter boots are a great combo that make you look well dressed without much effort. Interchange different tops and jackets.
7. A large scarf can pull together a scruffy look.
8. Coconut oil will make your hair soft and bouncy.
9. Even if you don't feel it's worth making the effort, try. It may only be the supermarket or the school run but you will notice a difference in your self esteem.
10. Smoothies will make your skin glow and your body feel great, try for one a day!
11. Drinking lots of water is the best kept beauty secret. Two litres per day is the recommended amount. You will also notice your energy increase.
12. Eating tomatoes or juicing them and using them as a mask is a natural way to get rid of under-eye bags (bane of my life).
13. Make a small sanctuary in your home, buy a cheap aromatherapy diffuser (for ladies on a budget a bowl of boiling water and a few drops of essential oil has a similar effect) and play some relaxing music as you wear a foot pack.
14. Find a scent that makes you smile, don't leave the house without it.
15. Look at women that inspire you and channel their essence with your clothing and attitude. If you feel like shit, ask yourself "What would (insert woman crush here) do? "
16. Walk as if you already have your dream body, even if you don't.
17. Find one pair of jeans that fit you like a second skin.
18. If you want to lose weight there's no time like the present.
19. Before you choose your clothes for the morning ask, "How would I dress if I were about to meet the love of my life today?" And then dress accordingly.
20. Smile in the mirror.
21. Listen to "M.I.L.F" by Fergie when you are getting ready