Everyone at some point in their life will lose a loved one. Recently I lost my grandmother; she was a huge part of my life. My gran was my person, the one who has supported me through it every thing and never judged me.
People have different ways coping with grief. Here are four things that help me get through this tough time in my life.
- I am so thankful I am the type of person that takes photos and videos when spending time with folk. I have many recent photos and videos of myself and my gran together. This has been a great comfort knowing I have recent photos of us together allows me to look back on great memories and remember the good times we had together.
- Listening to music that I used to hear my gran and papa play when I was younger. I absolutely love the Sixties music. It reminds me when I was younger and spending time with my grandparents. My gran used to sing “You Are My Sunshine” to me when I was wee. I always Denver when I got a bit older she would tell me she used to sing it. So recently I have been listening to a couple of tracks that really mean a lot to me. 1) The Drifters - "Save the Last Dance for Me"... This song was my gran and papas song. I love it. It was also played at my gran's funeral. 2) Lionel Ritchie and Dianna Ross - "Endless Love," this was another song that was played at my gran's funeral. I think it says a lot about how much my grandparents loved each other.
- A few weeks prior to my gran passing she gave me a gold bangle that she used to wear. The clip had broken on this particular bangle so my gran decided to super glue it shut so she could wear it. So after she glued it closed it turned out she couldn’t get it on and couldn’t wear it any more. I have managed to get it on and have kept it on most days since she passed. This bangle makes me smile because she decided to superglue it shut rather than get it fixed. It might not look like much but it had got sentimental value which is important and I love it.
- Recently myself and my mum had the difficult task of clearing out some of my gran's belongings. My gran had loads of clothes, that many my papa had to build fitted wardrobes in the spare room to give her extra space. When we were clearing them out we didn’t clear everything out at once. I also decided to keep a few items of clothing, especially her pyjamas as she likes getting new ones just like I do. Hopefully, sometime in the near future I will get memory cushions made from some of her jumpers so I have something physical to remember her by and have proudly on show.
Grief has no time limit and can last as long as it needs to. It is important to know that there are different stages of grief and it’s completely normal to experience each stage. Below are the five stages...
These are based on the Kubler Ross model which identifies the cycle of grief. People cope in different ways when losing a loved one. The best thing for me is to continue working, spending time with my papa and talking about all the wonderful memories we have if my gran.