Locked Out

The doorbell rang in the middle of the afternoon. I haven’t ordered anything, so I figured it must be another security or internet company soliciting and I wasn’t going to answer. My two-and-a-half-year-old had a different idea. He ran full speed to the door and knocked on it shouting, “Hello? Nana, is that you?!”

Ugh. I answered the door and to absolutely no surprise, it was a cable company. Fortunately, she made it quick because she could hear the chaos going on inside between the toddler and two dogs. My son kept trying to open the door and come outside so I held onto the doorknob. She finished her spiel and I went to go inside except, the door wouldn’t open.

He locked me out.

I immediately panicked and started pounding on the door, yelling for him to come let me in.

“Okay, mommy! I comin! I comin!” I could hear him shout. He unlocked the door knob and attempted to turn it with no luck of it opening.

“Mommy! Unlock the door!” he yelled.

“I can’t, honey, you have to!” I frustratingly yelled back. He told me he did but still, I can’t get it open.

He locked the deadbolt. 🤦🏼‍♀️

My heart sunk. What in the hell am I going to do? We don’t keep an extra key outside. All of the windows are locked. There’s no way to open the garage. Do I call the police? They’ll probably break my whole door down. I continued to yell to him.

“Mason, you have to unlock the top one! The top part, baby, you have to turn it! Remember?”

“Noooooooo!”

Ugh. My frustration grew to the point that I was shouting so loud into the door, I’m sure my neighbors heard me. I stood outside in hot pink leggings in 100 degree weather; pregnant and yelling like a crazy person for almost 30 minutes. I finally called my husband. He was in a meeting, of course. He would have to sneak out but he would be on his way soon.

But it hit me! My son is able to open the back sliding glass door. He has no problem with the lock and can even pull it open slightly. (I’m working on getting a childproof lock for it) So I ran to the back to try to get in that way. We have a screened in porch that the sliding glass door opens to.

The screen door to the porch is locked. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Of course, my son saw me standing out there and with no problem, opened the sliding glass door to come out into the porch. I got him over the screen door, showed him where the lock was, and he tried and tried but his little finger wasn’t strong enough to push the lock up. So instead, he just went to playing happily with his water table while I stood there sweating my balls off.

He’s such a smart ass sometimes. He decided to start taking cups of the water and throwing it on the concrete because he knows he’s not supposed to do this but he also knows that I can’t get to him or do anything about it. After each cupful of water, he turned to me and smirked.

After several minutes, I went to the other side of the porch to sit in the shade and wait. My son got jealous and began asking to come out and play in the grass.

“Mommy! I wanna play grass, too.”

“You can’t because you locked the door and we can’t get it open!” I said back.

My son replied with “Oh, okay!” and proceeded to walk over to the screen door, reach up, and unlock it as if he had known how to do it all along.

I could have screamed. 50 minutes in southern heat because he apparently decided it would be fun to leave me locked out! My husband walked in less than five minutes later and I could immediately see the anger on his face. I didn’t blame him, though. He left in the middle of a meeting and drove all the way home for essentially nothing. We’re okay now but it took him a solid ten minutes to finally speak a word to me.

Just another day of living the life with a smart ass two-and-a-half-year-old. Some days are the best days ever and some days, I want to pull my hair out. Then there are days when I am locked out of the house for almost an hour because of the two-and-a-half-year-old.