Life After Maternity Leave: Work Edition

I never knew I could fall in love instantly until the day my son was born. Early May, a day before my own mom's birthday, I gave birth to my son. From getting induced, to finally receiving an epidural, to his long-awaited arrival, everything honestly felt like it went by quickly. Now he's eight months, nearing nine.

I went on maternity leave about a week before he came. Long story short, I “thought” my water broke at my baby shower. Yes, my baby shower. But I guess it was just a false alarm. A little less than a week later, he finally arrived. I took my maternity leave a week and a half early. There was no way I was driving as far as I did everyday as pregnant as I was.

The six weeks flew right by, and then back to work I went. My first day back was probably the hardest. Physically, I was fine. Emotionally, I was a wreck.

“What if he needs me?” soon turned into “What if he forgets me?” I kept calling my parents to see if he was doing okay, if he ate, if he had enough to eat, if he took a nap, what he was doing at that exact moment, and so on and so forth. My mind drove me nuts for the first month back at work. On top of that, I was trying to keep up with pumping, but that’s a whole other story in itself.

Every day I felt tired from work away from baby and work with the baby. That isn’t to say I wouldn’t do anything for him twice, over and over again, if I had the chance... that was just my body telling me that this new found exhaustion was going to last a while so get used to it, mama.

Some days I’d confide in my coworkers when I felt anxious and some days I’d just nap all my concerns away. Later I realized two things:

1. had every right to feel as worried as I did (duh, just gave birth) and
2. my baby was probably doing much better without me than I was without him.

In other words, he was going to be fine.

Life after maternity leave didn’t seem as foreboding as it initially was for me. A routine kicked in and all was okay again. I’d occasionally drive myself crazy from worries, but what new mom didn’t? Especially if that new mom rarely had decent sleep the night before.

Going back to work meant I had to readjust how my days were ran. Just when I thought I already did major readjusting, that was the cherry on top.

Waking up almost every hour to feed, and praying that I wouldn’t over sleep so I’d make it to work on time, to hoping time would go faster so I can make it home to see my little boy.

Maternity leave wasn’t that easy either since everything was new to me. But seeing his face every day lightened the load.

Here’s what I’d take away as a new mom nearing the end of their maternity leave: Your little one will be fine. Of course, that is easier said. But if I could give you even a little peace of mind to take with your first day back, then you heard it here today.

One last thing... something I wish I applied more to help myself out for when I returned was to prepare for you and your baby’s next day the night before. It could save you a lot of time and energy every morning trying to rush and make sure everything is set for the day—AKA me everyday for several weeks. Don’t be me.