Let Them Judge, Just Shine Through!

"Eat less rice, and no oil at all. It avoids bloating and stomach uneasiness for the child.

"Don't watch the TV for the first few months of breastfeeding, it has a negative impact on the child."

"Drink water boiled with herbs, that increases the digestive power of the baby."

There is an endless list. So many tricks and tips for the new mother, and so many confusions to clear. It's always a struggle, to listen to everyone and to decide what one should accept or reject mentally. There's already enough to go through, with the excessive washroom visits, both yours and the baby's, the sleepless nights, the loss of every ounce of freedom of chilling, and yet you want to make it all feel beautiful. There's a limited space thereafter, for suggestions that flow from all kinds of people. I guess suggestions are still okay, their observations and judgements after scrutinizing the child are not. Too thin, too fragile, no hair, less movements, too sleepy, too cranky, etc. That makes a mother cringe. The real work of the mother is not raising the baby, and catering to it's feeding and sleeping needs. The real work is doing that with all these judgements floating around in the brain.

Coincidentally, this is a time (scientifically proven) where mothers go through several hormonal variances, and their mental stability is not as per the usual standard. So unintentionally, vibrations float around, that turn into question marks, and doubts and eventually a fear, or a dissatisfaction, or a feeling of failure.

Someone wiser than I was at that time told me during my first few months of child-bearing, that there's no way in the world, a mother would intentionally do something even close to wrong/harmful/unadvisable for her tiny tots. And that made me slightly more confident. If I couldn't breastfeed as long as others do, I have to stop feeling guilty. If my child was not born as plumpy as others, it wasn't my fault. If my child sleeps much less than others, there's nothing wrong.

Whichever way, whatever we do, whatever we say, or whatever we try, judgements will flow. They are unstoppable, but we can try to be unaffected. That's the real deal. It takes a lot to concentrate fully and enjoy the first few days of motherhood. It takes a lot of positive spirit to look beyond the unscheduled present and look at the beauty of the tiny fingers in the same present. It takes a lot of joy from within, to pass on only pure affection and happiness to the baby.

So, to all the new mothers and mothers-to-be, each experience is one of it's own. The only thing in your control, is to keep your ears closed and your heart open. Keep the positive vibrations flowing; I've learnt it a little bit later than I thought, but better late than never.

A mother can only be two things for her child: right, and more right. Have the confidence that you're doing the best for your darling baby, and nothing can overcome the feeling of unconditional love!