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My name is June.
I’m coming to you sharing a little bit of my life in hopes that I can give you the courage to value yourself and tell those who are toxic in your life, no.
My parents come from families that neglected and abused their children physically and emotionally. Maybe it’s due to society in the time where it was embarrassing to separate from your spouse, but some of my grandparents shouldn’t have been parents. My father who I love dearly, has serious insecurities about himself due to the fact of his step-mothers (his father married more than once) telling him he was stupid.
Now I’ve noticed a trend with step-parents, that they will do anything to erase the existence of the child from a previous marriage, in order for theirs to survive. Almost like survival of the fittest in the animal kingdom but in a very hurtful insane way where a child is left behind to fail.
My step-aunt became a very lonely successful six-figured woman, while my father was left depending on others and was shunned for it. Being called stupid most of your life and told that you would never amount to anything can wear on a person. It also turned my father into a yes man because he did not want to be left alone or homeless.
His mother got with his father because she was trying to get away from home due to a family member who was constantly sexually assaulting her. She ended up cheating on him after my father was born, burns my father, and ends up creating a lie to have my grandfather ran out of town.
My mother….where do I begin.
Let's just start with first, I love my mother, but she really should not have been a mother. She is a product of an unwanted pregnancy, unwanted marriage, sociopathic mother and brother, and abused siblings as well as herself. My mother is the second oldest of four children. Her oldest brother (my uncle) was usually left with them and assaulted them on a daily basis. There were some very dark things done that my mother refuses to accept, but my aunt, who came out gay due to these assaults, told me everything which I will tell you at a later time.
Her mother and father are a one-night stand that ended up turning into a shotgun wedding because her mother, who was 16 at the time, broke up with her boyfriend and was trying to make him jealous and ended up pregnant on the first try with my oldest uncle.
Yea, not a very good foundation, huh? Imagine confessing this to your significant other and they believe the apple doesn’t fall to far from the tree? Shitty, huh?
When I was a child, I thought the actions of my parents were normal, not knowing the trickle effect it would have on my relationships with my friends and men who I dated. The more I started to learn of the history of my family the more I realized that I was abused, but instead of becoming a victim I found my own peace and slowly started defeating my own demons.