Featured in Parenting Wars

Judge Yourself

Don't judge me.

There is a huge problem with society today where people try to make other people's lives their business. Maybe this was caused by the media, or over sharing on social media, or even just plain human nature; but it needs to stop. This problem exists everywhere but the worst one by far has got to be mom shaming.

 I'm not saying that sometimes it isn't necessary. Like for instance if it puts the child's health and wellbeing in jeopardy, but if you're causing a problem just because you don't agree with something I've got three words for you: GET A LIFE. You have got to have better things to do with your time than judge someone because they don't raise their kid the same way you do, and if you don't well then you seriously need a hobby. I think the most common one is the people who are constantly shouting that breast (breastfed) is best. No, just being fed in general is best. Why do we need to judge others if they are unable to breast feed their child? You don't know why they aren't breastfeeding. There could be multiple reasons including not producing milk, and babies not latching. As long as a child is being fed that's all that should matter to anyone, for all you know, that mother you are shaming is beating herself up because she wishes she were able to breastfeed her child. 

Another huge issue that I see is people who say that you didn't really give birth if you had a medicated labor or a c-section. As a c-section mom, and a human being, I am here to tell you that no matter how your child was born you are amazing and you did have a real birth. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Childbirth is one of the absolute hardest things a woman will ever experience in her lifetime. I don't care if you had a natural birth, a medicated birth, or a c-section, they all have their own very difficult and very real challenges. So instead of tearing each other down because we may have welcomed our children into the world in different ways, let's congratulate each other. 

Congratulations to the women who were able to give birth to their children completely natural, that is an amazing feat that not every woman can endure. Congratulations to the women who had a medicated birth, you did exactly what you needed to do to be able to have your baby and there is nothing wrong with that. Congratulations to the women who had a c-section, just because you didn't have your children vaginally doesn't mean it didn't count, that is an incredibly terrifying experience and you are very brave. And congratulations to the women who chose to give birth at home, you were brave, and strong, and in tune with your bodies. You sometimes get the most slack because people don't understand it but don't let that discourage you or make you feel less than someone else. 

Another thing that doesn't need to be shamed is whether or not a baby boy should be circumcised. That decision is the business of the child's parents and them alone. If you don't support it, that's okay don't get your son circumcised, there is nothing wrong with that. If you do support it, there's nothing wrong with that either, you go right ahead and have it done. There are studies in favor of both options, so just do what is best for you and your family. In fact the same goes for whether or not you should pierce your  baby's ears, if you like it do it. If you don't like it then don't do it. It should be as simple as that. Why does everyone need to throw their two cents in? And especially why does it always have to be negative two cents? Why can't we uplift each other? Instead of shaming someone for making a parenting decision praise them for being an amazing parent and doing their best. 

In the end that's all any of us can do anyways. There is no specific guidelines that if you follow these steps you are a perfect parent. That doesn't exist, we all make mistakes, we all have our own opinions, and we are all learning as we go. Imagine how much better this world would be if instead if tearing each other down all the time we lifted each other up. I think next time we feel like mom shaming, and yes we all do it, we need to take a look in the mirror. Try to see what we could better in our own lives instead of judging in someone else's. 

Remember to try to judge yourself, don't judge me. 

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