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Jealuosy is defined as showing envy of someone's success.
Envy is defined as feeling resentful of someone else's belonging.
I disagree with these definitions.
These words do not mean the same thing, nor do they rely on each other. These words are often used interchangeably, more so used insultingly, and honestly, for lack of better word.
When being attacked with these words, they hurt differently, the main component is who is saying them.
Jealousy occurs when someone has "something" or "more of" that you feel belongs to you.
In the case of sisters, all sister's can agree that a parent's love, affection belongs to all of you.
One sister may feel jealous of the other receiving praise or a reward for example, doing well in school.
Envy occurs when someone covets or desires something that is not and probably can't be yours.
A sibling may be envious of the other's ability to do well in school, while the other is envious of her sister's talent in sports.
Why does one get in trouble and not the other for the same thing?
We know our sisters differently than how our parents know them. It is soul crushing for our parent's to not see past the guise, the intention, malefic or not! It very much causes turmoil between sisters. Name calling begins which leave the sister's scared for life.
Culture: "She's just jealous."
Social media: "Hater's gonna hate."
Parents: "You'll understand when you're older."
All of those beliefs aside let's start with the proper name calling:
- Emotionally intelligent
From your perception only!
Which of these apply to your sister(s)?
Which of these apply more so to you?
Did I miss something?
Don't add negative things to the list, all those negations are in defense of...
Allow me to explain.
"Yeah, she's pretty but not that pretty."
"She just gets good grades because she's a nerd."
"She just got that job because she looks like a "hoe."
Defensive actions could be:
- Clap back.
- Borrowing a dress that obviously looks better on her without your permission.
- Hitting on your BF just to make a point.
- Telling your parent's on you so she can stand out.
- Calling you out in public or social media.
- Name calling
TEST: To figure out if you honestly feel that your sister is a "not that pretty, BF hittin' on, not so angelic, not so cute without filters, crappy sister," Imagine her boyfriend, or husband telling her this to her face!
You can't possibly agree.
If you do, then you are jealous of the respect and attention she deserves. Respect and admiration also belongs to you, work on yourself and nurture your strengths.
If you are envious, come to terms with yourself that "you will never be as good at this one thing" but you're so glad your sister, who is on your side is, and support her good to become better.
On a personal note: I never got rewarded by my parents for getting good grades. I got rewarded by my sister, she helps me with my taxes and accounting.
On the other hand, she never got rewarded for doing chores and didn't do well when I was in charge (I'm older). She got rewarded later in life knowing she could drop off her kids at my place on a moment's notice and they will be safe.
Our other sister is our secret weapon. So feminine, so cute, so quiet, our parent's never believed she did it. 😉