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It's a Girl=Boy Thing!

Gender equality starts at home.

By Srishti NegiPublished 5 years ago 4 min read
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It was a usual day. Me and my kids were having our pretend tea party with all the dolls and soft toys. My daughter made all her dollies and other toys sit in a row and neatly placed cups and saucers in front of each of them. She also put plates for the cookies. She then said she is making tea in her kettle which she put on her little gas stove. I casually asked her if she needed her brother to help her. She said in surprise that boys don't enter the kitchen and she continued her play making her brother sit just next to her toys in the tea party! Her answer didn't let the day remain usual for me!

I was surprised with the confidence in her voice confirming her clarity of thought about division of work between the genders. I decided to probe this further with her. I played a new game with her. I showed her pictures of tasks to be performed and asked her who would perform them. Cleaning the dishes, cooking, feeding the baby, washing-drying-folding-ironing laundry, dusting, putting baby to sleep was to be done by Mom. Driving, gardening, repairing a machine, going to office was to be done by Dad. Shopping, playing with the kids, reading stories to them were to be done by both. Interestingly, we don't have a garden and its been quite a while when any machine needed repair, nor she has seen her dad driving as we don't have a car here. So this confirms that the source of her understanding is our home as well as something else. Maybe the cartoons she watches like Peppa Pig, where mom takes care of the babies and the house and daddy mows the garden and drives a car.

Other than the source of such an idea, I was also interested to know what strengthens her belief about these tasks being done by Mom or Dad specifically. To my amazement, rather amusement, she chuckled that it is because she thought God had given these tasks to us and dads don't know how to do things that moms do. I had to reason this with her.

As parents, it is our duty to inculcate right value systems in our children. We have to prepare them for a future that is unpredictable and unforeseen. Gender roles as well as gender inequalities are the truths of today and to reduce it (if not eliminate it) we have to start at our homes. She should not grow to think that because she is a woman she needs to cook and clean and have babies and look after them. Nor she should have the idea that whoever chooses to be his man should earn for her, drive or repair a machine just because he is a man. I want her to know that except for nurturing a baby in the womb and breastfeeding it, God has given a Dad the ability do everything else and a Mom too can do everything that she chooses to do. It is what we choose to do based on our interests, skills and need of the family and not because of a gender!

I want her to avoid a biased view about jobs and associated genders with it. Every job requires only two things—skill sets and the interest or willingness to perform it. In a family too, those who perform certain tasks better and are willing to do it are assigned those tasks. It all depends how each one in a family contributes in running it smoothly. Some might contribute with work, others with finances and some others with both. It all depends on what suits them best. There might be stay-at-home dads and working moms because that works for the family. What matters is, whether the family is happy with all the efforts that are put in. There can never be an ideal situation where everything is an absolute equal between the genders. There happens to be a imbalance, somewhere, sometime. But if that is not harming anyone or making them feel insignificant or small or inadequate, it is fine. As a family, we should work towards filling in the gaps, pitching in where the other needs a hand and not divide work, complete our task and forget about the rest. As an individual, we need to be able to do everything at least for ourselves. We should not need others to cook, clean or wash up after us. Self sufficiency is important so that if circumstances be, we can live alone and still be organised and if we are with anyone, we aren't a burden on them.

To give her a better perspective, I showed her the movie Ratatouille where even a rat was cooking! Whenever I notice a woman driver of a bus, I point it out it to her. I showed old videos of her where her dad had cooked for her while I was working in college. I showed her family photos where she could see her grandma gardening, her dad changing her diapers, her uncle putting her to sleep and her aunt repairing her toy. I just wanted to show her enough examples where everyone was performing anything that they chose to do.

Her dad volunteered to prepare her breakfast every morning and I brought flowers and seeds to help her make her own garden. She lets her brother serve tea to her guests in her pretend tea party and when I ask her what she wants to become when she grows up, she says "a fireman!"

I guess, now at least in my family, it is a girl=boy thing!

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About the Creator

Srishti Negi

Mother of two toddlers... M a supermom.. A business professional turned teacher... And now a full time homemaker. Reading and writing are my passion. Music and dance are my life. I am here to share my thoughts to gain creative satisfaction.

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