Incompetent Cervix

September 2017: I found out I was pregnant with my first child.

My husband and I were overjoyed. We decided six months prior to start trying. I went off birth control, and we understood that it could take six months to one year for us to get pregnant. It took the shorter span of time and we felt grateful. Of course there was the scare of first trimester loss. I knew the statistics. 12 weeks and the chances of a miscarriage dropped significantly. Our first OB appointment went well, and the second, we got to see our beautiful little nugget with a heartbeat. The baby was off to a great start and our due date was set for May 16, 2018.

Every week we learned something new and every appointment was exciting. We opted out of the 12-week testing because we knew we would love our baby no matter the results; plus, the quad test was done at 16 weeks and it was the same genetic testing. That one came back normal. Next appointment: The 20-week anatomy scan!

My husband and I decided to not find out the sex of our child. We wanted to be surprised. The 20-week scan came back completely normal. The baby was measuring on target and moving quite a bit. There was a mini-scare, the radiologist could not see all four chambers of the heart, so I had to go back in for another ultrasound. Luckily, everything was perfect. The baby was just moving so much that it was hard to get a read. That relief was short lived.

January 15, 2018: Just five days after seeing my doctor, I woke up with slight cramping and spotting. I called the OB on-call and he recommended I come in just to be safe. That snowy drive from our apartment was the quietest drive my husband and I took. I got checked into the hospital and the nurse placed the belt on me to see if I was having contractions, but we could not get a read. We waited for my doctor to come in to check everything. She was there within the hour. She went and checked my cervix only to find that I was fully dilated and there was nothing we could do to stop labor.

22 weeks. I was just 22 weeks. There was no chance for survival for our baby. How could this happen? Why did I not know I was in labor? You have these ideas of what pregnancy and labor would feel like, but I dilated without any contractions. How could that happen? At 4:16 PM, 10 hours after being admitted to the hospital, our daughter was born. We named her Hannah Joy, and got 90 minutes with her until she passed. My tiny, beautiful baby girl was gone.

Fast forward six weeks later, and we found out what happened. I have an incompetent cervix. Mine is different than others. It is "silent IC." I have a weakened cervix for absolutely not reason. On top of losing our child, I felt absolutely destroyed because I lost my baby because my body could not keep her in. Luckily, there are options for the next pregnancy and we would go over them once I became pregnant again.

And I am.