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Where is her heartbeat?

Create in me a pure heart, only then can I be immortal.

A little kid as I was, I still remember: I tightly held onto my father's fingers, just learnt how to walk. Now, as it was my turn, I am supposed to guide her, help her get up whenever she trips. But what am I doing? Looking down at the contract that Sarah would be no more in a few days? ...and... sign it?...

Agree to it?...

It was on one of the stormy nights- clouds cluttered, thunder struck when my little princess was delivered and earned an existence in this world. That night I promised her that I will always be there for her, with her, till the very end. Ahhhh! My baby, the prettiest of all! I thought as I put her back on the crib that night.

Four years passed by within a blink of an eye. Though Sarah was still small and couldn't walk properly yet, her pure smile brought down all the concern, stress, misery that we went through every day. Her green marble eyes were my most precious treasure. Her heart was a white pigeon. The gold in her was slowly growing up, 6 years, 10 years, 12 years....

...A little longer?

...Where is the heartbeat then?

20th February, an emergency call from Sarah's school rang on my phone. As I took it, my heart sank... I couldn't believe what I heard;

" Sarah has been admitted to the hospital Sir, St. Joseph Hospital. She has been coughing blood and suddenly collapsed afterwards. "

We rushed to St. Joseph as fast as we could. When we reached her room, we saw her lying flat on the bed, like a puppet that was kept alive with an oxygen mask. As the doctor said what was wrong with Sarah, we were shaken and had goosebumps from the tip of our toe to the top of our head. She developed a non curable disease through out the years.

" It is unbelievable how she is still alive with such a life threatening cancer but I'm afraid that she has only a month or two among us. "

Speechless as we were, I saw Sarah's mother braking down into pieces. However, I was her father and it was my duty to take necessary actions to save my daughter. I got a hold on my emotions and wanted her cured.


Singapore, Australia, India, England. None of the countries could admit that this child could be cured, all of the reports stated the same thing- the cancer couldn't be cured. So do I have to accept that my precious will be no more?

It was her last month. We tried to keep her as happy as possible. Whenever she closed her eyes, our hearts thrashed (what if she doesn't wake up again?).

One day, when I was passing a room in the hospital on the first floor, I noticed a couple crying and looking down at their child lying on the bed who looked about the same age as Sarah.

As the doctor talked to them, I overheard that the boy had a weak heart that could collapse any moment. It needed a heart transplant as soon as possible. Looking at the father's eyes, I realized how painful it was for them, we are going through the same pandemonium after all.

But, the only difference was their son had a chance to heal, our daughter didn't.

"Papa, I want to help them. I would be gone anyways, can I wish for a last thing?"

And thus came the day for signing up on the contract. With an haste, without listening to my wife's rebellion I submitted the form. Suddenly, my hands shook.... What have I done! What if my daughter could be blessed with a miracle to live? I screamed out as I thought.

A few weeks passed by. When my wife and I walked to the hospital from our princess's grave to see the boy who was granted a new life, the parents thanked us. They said, 

"Despite her cancer, Sarah had a pure heart. Her heart was as rich as gold. Perhaps she lives within our son."

The boy smiled at me when I looked down at him lying on the bed... I saw Sarah through that smile, my little angel was smiling at me! Aahhhhhhh! All those days when this particular smile washed off all my miseries and made me feel the happiest and luckiest father alive... I recalled with tears in my eyes.

I suddenly forgot about the pain, I felt Sarah in my arms when I saw her smile through him. Though I thought I had made a terrible mistake, it was actually a blessing in disguise; for his parents, for him and for us too. Yes, we soon realized how blessed we were because despite she was no longer present among us, we were fortunate enough to hear her heart beat.

We could not save our child but a child was saved by our daughter. Her heart will contribute for generations to come in the future. Though she was nonexistent, she was still living, her heart was still beating.

Yes, our daughter Sarah, is still alive.

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