I’m That Mom

Yes, I am that kind of mom who gets excited about big milestones that make my child more independent. I jumped at the idea with both my children to feed table food once they were ready, and we were moving to sippy cups at 6 months. As soon as they could feed themselves, that’s what they did. My kids are still under the age of 3, but they are their own people. They aren’t socially awkward, they love other kids, no animal scares them, and they love doing things on their own! They participate in group activities, but given the choice, they’d rather have their own toys in their own rooms. I don’t think this makes me a bad parent.

I never co-slept or used essential oils to help them sleep though the night... they have been doing that all on their own since the very beginning. I even jumped at the idea of losing our gaming room so they could have a room of their own when we lived in a two bedroom apartment.

I read to them, but they would rather look at the pictures and “read” it themselves. When doing crafts, they don’t want me to paint their hand, they want to do that themselves. They want to put their own plate in the sink after meals and they would rather ride the struggle bus than ask help. They even prefer to dress themselves than have help. And if I do help, they take it off and do it themselves again!

A mother pays attention and loves their kids, even when it is frustrating! Some of the things they do on their own, I'd love to help them with! But I refuse to hold them back! If it’s something they want to push themselves to do, why not? Is it safe? Most of the time. I would never let my kids do anything that would seriously hurt them, but in terms of their independence, why not have them test their limits young? Why not have them go off and do their own thing? It doesn’t make them socially awkward; my kids do these things and I take them to the children’s museum and to the park and they are amazing at playing with the other kids. Kids need choices, they need room to make their own mistakes and figure out their own limits. They need to be trusted. I know growing up, my mom liked doing everything for us, and that doesn’t make her a bad mom. Everyone raises their kids differently. But my mom also had a hard time letting go when we would grow up and need college or get married. I hope that one day, I can let my kids fly with a proud smile on my face because I know I did everything I could, and now it’s their turn to take on the world. I don’t believe it will be easy, you take care of someone for 18+ years, nothing is going to be easy about letting go, but you want them to have the best experience moving forward and wanting them to find comfort in the fact that YOU are OK. When I left for college, I was so worried about my parents, because they didn’t handle me leaving very well. We work hard to make sure we give our parents as much joy as they have put into our lives. I hope one day that my parents will look at my life and I find joy and peace in knowing they got me here.

You are a good parent. Good parents love unconditionally. As long as you do that, you are the best parent. All kids need is love. Your “parenting style” is up to you!