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I Was Bullied

Stand up and say no!

This is one contentious subject that is very difficult to talk about and it needs to be addressed when you have children and you know that one of them went through it. I myself went through it and back in the days there was not much talk or emphasis put on bullying or any discussion on media.  So you went through it and years later it still affects you because you cannot function right as a human being and you have to seek help from a therapist to make you more humane for lack of a better word. It changes your whole perspective on life and what it means, that we live in a world where violence and conflict exist and you question all things. 

You question first why it happened in the first place, did you ask for it, did you do something wrong? As you mature, you find perspective and realise that it was not your fault and that the perpetrator was the insecure one, that needed more help than you do. You realise that the perpetrator is a more sick, broken person and may come from a broken home, where love does not exist. As you get older you slowly heal and you wonder what happened to that person or if he or she is a better person or are worse off.

Bullying is now an open discussion, and it affects you more when it happens again and it hits close to home and it's your own child. I got angry all over again and had to bring it up with the school and the school governing body to address it with the guilty party. My son was actually the brave one in the whole situation and handled it very well. Both myself and the other child parents were called to a meeting and both children had to get counseling. 

Although I try to teach my child to show respect to everyone that he comes to meet in life it becomes difficult because not everyone comes from a healthy background. And I am not for one minute saying that everything is perfect and disagreements do not come up every now and then, because it does. A therapist told me once that arguments and disagreement is healthy especially in a marriage because its like getting rid of toxic matter that does not have place in your marriage. The point is what is the disagreement about, or does it have valuable merit to argue or disagree about. Sometimes we waste time and energy on an argument that is insignificant. It comes down to stating what is acceptable and not acceptable but in a healthy constructive way.

Sometimes I need to examine myself and ask myself some questions about disagreements, was it reasonable, was it justifiable.

We cannot always protect our children from everyday life experiences or live their lives for them, but we can guide them and teach them what you have experienced. A small child need to be guided and taught was is right and what is wrong. Yes, we do teach them, but somehow they want to impress their friends and try to fit in with the crowd and they forget what they were taught. It should be an ongoing conversation constantly. 

Let us teach our children right from wrong and let us create a healthy home environment. I know there is no perfect human being or perfect household, but we as a society can at least try to create that. In all of this and many years later I became a counselor myself and realised that there is a general problem when it comes to the youth of today and the challenges they face. Peer pressure is an ugly thing and the youth of today want to feel accepted and would go to great lengths to try to fit in or make friends. It should not be that difficult, and it should be an ongoing conversation that bullying should not have any place in society.

Let us not accept bullying, and say no to the bullies.

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